In The End
by heartandy112
Summary: Olivia's in trouble...Elliot helps her out. But then what happens? OE. Read and review please. Finished. Sequel Possible.
1. Bruises

A/N: Elliot has been divorced from Kathy for about 6 months. He sees his children every Tuesday and Thursdays, and every other weekend.

In The End – Chapter One 

**SVU Precinct 1-6**

Olivia walked into the precinct late one Monday morning. Elliot got up out of his chair and walked over to her as she put her things into her locker. "Where were you Liv?" He asked her. "We've got a new case in…but Cap gave it to Munch and Fin since we couldn't go…" he told her, sort of upset.

Olivia turned around and glared at Elliot. "Well thanks for the welcome!" She shot back sarcastically as she plopped down behind her desk and drained her coffee mug.

"Sorry…I didn't mean it like that," he apologized as he sat down behind his desk. "But where were you?"

"I uh…I got held up at home," she told him vaguely as she refilled her mug.

"How's the boyfriend doing?" Elliot asked, his voice flat, showing that he could really care less.

"Clay is fine," Olivia said shortly.

Elliot shrugged. "Okay…"

Captain Cragen came out of his office and handed Elliot a file. "4 year old girl. Kidnapped and raped. She's at Bellevue," he said.

"Bellevue? Why?" Olivia asked.

"Apparently she went into shock…something like that. See what you can find out," he told them as he went back into his office.

Elliot opened the file, and Olivia looked over his shoulder, resting her hand on his back. "Isabella Rose Kilpatrick. 4 years old. Only child of a single mother…says here that the mother was a prostitute, and was raped about 5 years ago…" Olivia read out of the file, before pausing.

"Child of rape," Elliot said, finishing her sentence. "The mother have any boyfriends? A pimp that wanted money…" Elliot said, fishing for ideas.

"I don't think so…but let's go talk to her, okay?" Olivia said as she put her jacket on and headed out of the door.

Elliot followed close behind her, and threw her the keys as he got in the passenger side of the car.

They drove to the hospital, not talking much. Olivia had turned The River 100.7 up and was nodding her head and humming to the music. Elliot watched her with an amused look on his face.

When they got to the hospital, they walked inside and showed their badges to the nurse at the front desk. The nurse took them to Isabella's room. Olivia and Elliot walked inside quietly, and Olivia gently shook the little girl awake.

Isabella blinked slowly, and rubbed her eyes. "Who are you?" She asked, scared.

Olivia smiled warmly. "I'm Detective Benson, and this is my partner Detective Stabler. We're police officers," she told the girls as she showed her the badge.

Isabella nodded. She took Olivia's badge from her and played with it, tracing the lines.

Elliot and Olivia pulled up chairs beside Isabella's bed. "Is it alright if we ask you some questions Isabella?" Olivia asked.

Isabella smiled weakly. "I guess so…but call me Ella…" the little girl said.

"Okay Ella…you told the doctor that a man took you from your house and hurt you. Can you tell me more about this?" Elliot asked her gently.

A tear fell from Ella's eye. Olivia took her hand. "It's alright Ella…" she said comfortingly.

"I was walking home from school, and I was putting the key in the door of the apartment when this big man came up and put his hand over his mouth, and dragged me down the stairs and into his van. He put a blindfold on me, and told me that if I wasn't quiet, he would kill me." Ella paused and sniffled a bit. Olivia patted her shoulder and smiled. Ella continued. "He drove around for a little while before stopping, and making me walk into a building. He took the blindfold off…and he…he made me do bad things to him…" Ella said.

Elliot nodded. "Did he say anything to you?" He asked.

"Before he…hurt me…he said I was getting the same thing that my mother got…what did he mean by that?" Ella asked innocently.

"Well we're going to find out okay?" Olivia assured her. "Did you recognize this man? Have you ever seen him before?"

Ella nodded. "He came by our house a few times. Mother always yelled at him. He was ugly…he had a big tatoo on his arm. I think it was a dragon," Ella said.

Olivia smiled. "You have been very helpful, thank you."

Ella nodded. "What's your name?" She asked Olivia.

"My name's Olivia," she told her.

"That's a pretty name," Ella said. "And I think you're pretty too," Ella added.

Olivia smiled. "Thank you. I think you're pretty too," she said. Elliot and Olivia got up to leave. "Well come back tomorrow, okay?" Olivia promised.

Ella nodded. "Can I give you a hug?"

Olivia looked at Elliot, who walked back into the room. "Sure…" Olivia walked over to Ella and gave her a gentle hug.

Ella put her arms around Olivia's neck, but wouldn't let go.

"Ella, Olivia and I have to go back to work now," Elliot said softly, trying to pry the little girls' arms off of Olivia's neck.

"But I want her to stay with me!" Ella cried.

Olivia pulled back from Ella. "We'll be back, okay? I promise…" she told Ella.

Ella smiled and let go of Olivia. Her eyes narrowed and she looked at Olivia's neck, which was showing because Ella had pushed her turtleneck down accidentally while hugging her.

"What happened?" Ella asked, gently running her fingers over large, dark bruises on Olivia's neck.

Olivia grimaced and pulled her turtleneck back up. "Oh…it's nothing," Olivia said dismissing it.

"No it's not," Ella insisted. "Mother used to have those after men hurt her…did someone hurt you?" Ella asked.

Olivia's face paled a little bit, but she shook her head. "No…I'm fine. We've got to go now, but we'll be back tomorrow," Olivia told her as she walked quickly out of the room. Olivia didn't stop walking until she got into the car.

Elliot hurried to catch up with her. "What was all that about?" He asked her.

Olivia shook her head. "Nothing…don't worry about it," she told him quietly.

"Those bruises didn't look like nothing," Elliot said, looking at her.

"Please Elliot, please just forget you saw it…just let it go," she pleaded as she started the car.

Elliot crinkled his brow and looked out his car window. Something was going on, and he needed to find out what it was.


	2. Worrying About Olivia

In The End – Chapter Two 

**Olivia's Apartment**

**Later That Night**

Olivia unlocked the door to her apartment, and closed it silently. She sighed as she hung her coat and purse up in the closet. She walked over to the couch and lay down, throwing her arm over her eyes. She was tired.

"Hey babe, where ya been?" Her boyfriend Clay walked in from the kitchen with no shirt on and a beer in his hand.

"Elliot and I were at the hospital on a case," Olivia told him tiredly.

Clay snorted. "Yeah right…out on a case having sex in the back of the car. You think I'm stupid…but I'm not…I know what's going on," Clay said as he walked over to the couch and stood over Olivia.

Olivia sat up and glared at Clay. "How many times do I have to tell you that Elliot is just a friend, nothing more. I've never cheated on you Clay. God…calm down," she said as she stood up and walked past him towards the bedroom.

Clay grabbed her arm and twisted it around. "Look at me," he shouted at her, "Look at me you bitch!"

Olivia winced in pain and looked up at him, scared. "Please Clay don't hurt me," she pleaded.

Clay pulled her close to him. "Don't you ever tell me what to do…" he spat at her before throwing her down on the ground. He walked back into the kitchen and sat at the table nursing another bottle of beer.

Olivia picked herself off the floor and ran into the bedroom. She locked herself in the bathroom and turned on the shower. She shed her clothes and looked at her body in the mirror. She was covered in bruises. Big, ugly, brown, green, purple, and blue splotches covered her arms, neck, thighs, and abdomen. She had big red welts, and her shoulder was swollen. She drew her arms around her stomach, and winced in pain. Last night he had thrown her against the wall during and argument, and then he threw her against the coffee table. She thought she had broken some ribs, but she didn't want to go the hospital.

She got into the scalding shower, and washed away her tears. She picked up her honey vanilla showergel and gently washed her body off, careful not to hurt herself. Once she was done, she put on her oldest, most comfortable sweats, and got into bed, preparing herself for a sleepless night.

Elliot's Apartment 

**Same time**

Elliot lie in bed, unable to sleep. He had been thinking about Olivia, and the bruises that he had seen earlier in the day. They couldn't have been accidental, and they most definitely couldn't have been 'nothing' as she had claimed. Someone had hurt her. But who? She had looked tired for the past few weeks, almost miserable. She had been cranky, and certainly not happy. She had offered to work extra shifts, and she stayed late almost every night. Elliot stayed with her when his kids weren't home, and it seemed like she was avoiding going home. But every time he asked her about it, she shrugged it off, and refused to talk about it. A thought popped into Elliot's head and he sat up in bed. "Could it be Clay?" Elliot wondered. No, he decided. Even if he didn't like the man, Olivia wouldn't put up with someone who hurt her. He lay back down in bed and sighed. He wanted to help her, but he couldn't figure out how to. Little did he know that he was very wrong.

**Next Morning**

**SVU Precinct 1-6**

Elliot looked at his watch. It was already 9 o'clock. Olivia should have been at the precinct a hour and a half ago. She had been late the past few days, but she always made it in by 7:30. Elliot called her cell phone again, but it just rang and rang. Elliot frowned. He tried calling her home number, but it had been disconnected. Elliot was worried now. He stood up and walked into the captain's office.

"Hey Cap," he said.

Cragen looked up and smiled at Elliot.

"Can I talk to you in private for a second?" Elliot asked.

Cragen nodded. Elliot closed the door and sat down in front of Cragen's desk. "What's going on?" Cragen asked.

Elliot frowned. "Well I'm worried about Liv," he said.

"Why?" Cragen asked.

"Well she's been miserable for the past few weeks. She's come in late, looking tired, like she's had no sleep. She's always cranky, and always stays after, like she's avoiding going home. Yesterday, when we were at the hospital, Liv hugged the little girl. The next of her turtleneck got pushed down, and Liv had huge ugly bruises all over her neck. I tried to ask her about them, but she refused to talk about it, pleaded with me to forget I ever saw it. And now she hasn't shown up yet – she's an hour and a half late. I tried calling herself phone, but it just rang. So I called her home number. It's been disconnected," Elliot said, very concerned.

Cragen looked at Elliot for a second before speaking. "You think Clay's been hurting her?" He asked.

Elliot nodded. "I think it's a very strong possibility. She never talks about him, and when I ask, she still doesn't say a word. She's always avoiding going home…" Elliot said, realizing that it seemed more than just a strong hunch.

Cragen nodded. "Well…if he's abusing her…then it's our case. You go over there…make sure she's not just sleeping late or something. You've got a key, right?" He said as he picked up the phone.

"Yeah. I can get in…who are you calling?" Elliot asked, looking at the phone.

"I'm gonna call Casey…see what she thinks about this…I want to make sure this bastard doesn't get away with anything. Call me when you get there, okay?" Cragen said as Elliot walked out of his office.

"Sure thing…I'm gonna go now," Elliot said as he walked out of the precinct.

**Olivia's Apartment**

**15 minutes later**

Olivia was lying in bed, unable to move from the intense pain that was vibrating through her body. She could hear Clay rummaging around in the kitchen, but she didn't want to see him. She closed her eyes and try to fall asleep, but it wasn't working. Her eyes popped open when the doorbell rang. She heard Clay open the door.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She heard Clay growl.

When she heard the other person's voice, her heart sank. "Where's Olivia?" She heard Elliot ask.

"That's none of your business," Clay told Elliot as he tried to push Elliot into the hallway.

Elliot pushed back. "I'm not leaving until I see her," Elliot shouted at Clay.

"Sorry buddy, get out of here," Clay said as he slammed the door in Elliot's face and locked the door chain and the deadbolt.

A tear ran down Olivia's cheek. She knew that Elliot had found out about Clay abusing her. She knew that Clay would be angry with her for Elliot coming over, and that she would be his punching bag.

**SVU Precinct 1-6**

Elliot walked back into the precinct with a grim look on his face. He sat down in his chair, leaned forward and lay his head in his hands.

Casey Novak walked out of Cragen's office, with Cragen right behind her. "Did you talk to her?" Casey asked as she perched on the edge of Elliot's desk.

Elliot raised his head from his hands, and shook his head.

Cragen sighed. "Did you get into the apartment?" He questioned Elliot.

"No. Clay opened the door. He said it was none of my business where Liv was. He pushed my out of the door, and then locked it. I tried to use my key to get back in, but they must have changed the locks," he said disappointedly.

"Well we can't arrest him unless we have proof that he was the one that hurt her," Casey said sadly.

"Isn't there anything we can do?" Elliot asked.

Casey sighed. "We could try for a search warrant…it's a stretch, but if we can get it, you might find proof in the apartment that there has been foul play," Casey said, shrugging her shoulders.

"Well it's the best we can do," Cragen said. "How soon can we get it?"

Casey looked at her watch. "It's 1 now…which means I can have it filled by 5, when the office closes. But you won't be able to do anything about it until tomorrow," she said. "Sorry guys…I'll do the best I can to put a rush on it," she told them as she picked up her briefcase and left the precinct.

Elliot put his head back in his hands, and tried to keep his composure. Cragen put his hand on Elliot's shoulder, trying to console him. "She'll be okay Elliot…we'll get there as soon as Casey gives us the word," Cragen told him.

"Why didn't I notice it before?" Elliot asked. "I should have known something was going on," he said, blaming himself.

"How could you?" Cragen asked. "She didn't want anyone to know…" he said.

Elliot sighed. "Maybe…" he said as his cell phone rang.

He opened his cell phone and brought it to his ear. "Stabler," he said tiredly.

"Hello Detective Stabler, I'm Nurse Riggs from Bellevue. One of our patients here, Isabella Kilpatrick, has asked that you and Detective Benson come down here. She would like to talk to you, and her file says that you are investigating her case," the nurse said.

Elliot nodded to himself. "Alright, I'll be right there. Tell her I'll be there in about 30 minutes. Is there anything she needs?" He asked nicely.

"She says that she wants her dolly…she didn't have one with her when she was brought here. Maybe it was taken as evidence, but it'd be great if you could find it," the nurse told him.

"I'll see what I can do," Elliot said as he hung up.

"Was that about Olivia?" Cragen asked, watching Elliot.

Elliot shook his head. "The victim, the four year old, Ella. She wants us to come talk to her. I'm gonna go and visit her in the hospital. Do you know if a doll was taken as evidence in her case?" Elliot asked.

"I can find out," Cragen said as he went into his office and made a phone call. Two minutes later, Cragen walked back out to Elliot. "Evidence said they took one, but they don't need it anymore. You can go pick it up from them if you'd like," Cragen said.

Elliot nodded. "Okay, I'll do that. I'm going go to the hospital after I pick it up. I'll probably head home after that. Call it a night," Elliot said tiredly.

Cragen nodded. "Okay. I'll call you if I hear anything, okay?"

Elliot smiled weakly. "Thank Cap…" he said as he walked out of the door. He took the elevator down to evidence, picked up the doll, and went to the hospital.

**Same Time**

**Olivia's Apartment**

Olivia lay in bead, curled up into a ball. She heard Clay's footsteps coming toward the bedroom door, and she squeezed her eyes shut. She heard the bedroom door being flung open and hit the wall. Large, loud footsteps walked towards the bed. Olivia felt Clay standing over her, watching her.

Clay leaned down and slapped her hard against the face. "Don't play dead with me," he said gruffly.

Olivia opened her eyes and raised her hand to her cheek in pain. "What do you want?" She asked, not looking at Clay.

Clay leaned over her and whispered something in her ear.

Olivia's eyes grew wide in fear, and she wrapped her arms around herself protectively. "Please…please, don't hurt me!" She begged Clay.

Clay laughed evilly, and proceeded to pin Olivia against the bed. "NO!" She shouted as he began to rape her.

**Meanwhile**

**At The Hospital**

Elliot had been talking to Ella, who had been very happy to see him and her dolly, who she now called Livvy. They had been talking about random things, and suddenly Elliot grabbed his chest in pain. His face contorted in pain.

"Are you okay?" Ella asked, frightened.

Elliot breathed deeply, and shook his head as the pain lessened. "Yeah, I'm fine," he told her.

"You didn't look fine," Ella said, looking suspiciously at him…well as suspiciously as a four year old could look.

Elliot nodded. "I'm just tired," he told her. "I think I'm going to go home now," he told her as he stood up.

"Okay," Ella said. "But if you talk to 'Tective 'Livia, tell her I miss her," Ella said.

Elliot nodded and gave Ella a hug. "I sure will," he said as he walked out of the door.


	3. Anger, Blame, Guilt, and Pain

In The End – Chapter Three 

**Elliot's Apartment**

**9 O'clock that night**

Elliot said as he sat on his couch. He had been watching TV, but there was nothing on, so he just sat there thinking about Olivia. All of a sudden, a knock at his door startled him out of his thoughts. He grumbled as he walked to the door. He opened it and was surprised by what he found. "Olivia?" He asked, as he looked at the person standing in front of him, wearing large, black sweats, a baseball cap pulled down to cover their face, and large, dark sunglasses.

The figure nodded as it fell towards Elliot. "Olivia!" He shouted as he carefully picked her up and brought her inside. He kicked the door shut behind him and lay her gently on the couch. Olivia moaned as she tried to sit up, and just lay back down. She took her cap and sunglasses off, making the huge, dark bruises and her swollen face visible.

Elliot gasped. "Oh Liv," he said as he took her into his arms. "Clay?" He asked quietly.

Olivia nodded and began to cry. Elliot rocked her gently in his arms and consoled her. "It's okay Liv…I've got you…he can't hurt you now," he told her as he kissed her head.

Olivia quieted down as she lay in Elliot's arms. "I need you to take me to the hospital," she told him.

Elliot nodded. "Okay…I'll take you. Do you want to go now?" He asked her.

Olivia nodded. "Yes…" she told him.

Elliot stood up and got his keys. "Do you want me to carry you?" He asked her.

Olivia nodded. "I feel too faint and weak to walk," she admitted quietly.

Elliot picked her up and cradled her injured body in his arms gently. He carefully made his way out of his apartment and down to his car. He gently lay Olivia in the passenger seat of his car, and set off for the hospital. "What did he do to you?" Elliot asked.

Olivia sighed and a tear ran down her cheek. Elliot held her hand and squeezed it. Olivia took a shaky breath before she started. "He's been hitting me, pushing me around for a few months," she told him, "but it's gotten worse and worse. Tonight…he…he raped me."

Elliot gasped and looked over at Olivia. "Oh Liv…I'm so sorry…oh god…" he said, upset, and angry that this happened.

Olivia nodded. They pulled up to the hospital, and Elliot got out of the car. "You stay here, I'll go get someone," he told her. He ran into the hospital and up to the Emergency desk. "I've got my best friend in my car out front. She's been beaten and raped," he told the nurse. The nurse nodded and paged a doctor and some nurses who ran up to Elliot and followed him out to his car. They lay Olivia on a gurney and wheeled her into the ER. Elliot followed close behind, holding Olivia's hand.

"Okay, I need a CBC, CTC, EKG, CAT. Give her 10 cc's morphine, a full body x-ray, and then I want an ultrasound," the attending doctor shouted at the nurses who scurried off to do her orders.

The doctor pulled some gloves on looked at Olivia. "Hi, I'm Doctor Hayden," she said to Olivia. "I'm going to need you to tell me exactly what happened, okay?"

Olivia nodded. "My boyfriend, Clay, he's been hitting me for a few months. It was small at first, but in the past few weeks he's started throwing me around, pushing me into furniture. Tonight…he raped me," Olivia said.

Dr. Hayden made some notes on Olivia's chart. "Have you ever gone unconscious after these fights?" She asked.

Olivia nodded. "Most of the time these past few weeks," she told the doctor.

"Okay, I'm going to do a rape kit before we get you up to x-ray. I'm going to need to contact the police and take pictures of your injuries," Dr. Hayden informed her.

Olivia gritted her teeth and looked at the doctor. "I am the police," she told the doctor.

Dr. Hayden frowned and looked at Elliot. "I'm assuming you're not the boyfriend," she said.

Elliot nodded. "I'm Detective Stabler, with Special Victims Unit. I'm her partner, and her best friend," he told her.

Dr. Hayden nodded and turned to Olivia. "Would you like him to stay?"

Olivia looked at Elliot who shrugged. "I can wait outside," he told her.

Olivia shook her head. "No, please stay El," she said. "I need you here," she told him.

Elliot nodded, and stood by her side, holding her hand as Dr. Hayden performed the rape kit.

Once she was done, Dr. Hayden took her gloves off, and pulled up a chair to talk to Elliot and Olivia.

"Miss Benson, did you know that you were pregnant?" Dr. Hayden asked.

Olivia shook her head. "No…"

"Wait," Elliot interrupted. "What do you mean 'were'?" He asked.

Dr. Hayden smiled sadly at Olivia. "Unfortunately the rape and the beatings caused you to miscarriage," she told them. "You were about a month along, which is probably why you didn't realize it," she said. She stood up and began to head out of the door. "I'm going to give you guys a few minutes alone before the nurse comes to take you up to x-ray," she said as she walked out of the door, closing it behind her.

Elliot looked at Olivia, who was staring straight ahead, looking very pale. He cleared his throat. "Liv…?" He said quietly.

"That bastard killed his own child," Olivia said angrily, before looking at Elliot with tears in her eyes. "If I had known I was pregnant…I wouldn't have stayed there…" she said.

"I know Liv…I know…none of this is your fault though. You know that Liv," he said as he brushed some hair out of her face.

Olivia nodded. "I don't know what I ever saw in him," she spat out.

"Don't worry," Elliot said as he put an arm around her. "We'll make sure you never have to see him again," he told her as he placed a kiss on her forehead.

The nurse knocked on the door and took Olivia up to be x-rayed. Elliot stayed behind in the hospital room to call Cragen.

"Hello?" Cragen said.

"Cap, it's Elliot," he said.

"Where are you?" Cragen asked. "I've been trying to call you all night. Casey put a rush on the search warrant, and you can go," he told Elliot.

Elliot sighed. "It's too late. Liv showed up at my apartment around 9. We're at the hospital. Clay raped her, and beat her," Elliot told Cragen sadly.

"Oh god," Cragen said. "How is she?"

"Physically, other than the rape, bruises, and probably a few broken ribs, she's going to be okay. Mentally…I don't know. She was pregnant Cap…she was pregnant and he caused her to miscarriage," Elliot said as he began to cry.

"Oh man…" Cragen said. "I'm going to send Munch and Fin to pick Clay up. Casey and I will come by tomorrow to see her. Hang in there," he told Elliot.

Elliot closed his phone and put it back in his pocket. He hung his head and rubbed his face with his hands. He blamed himself for not realizing this, and not stopping it. He tried not to cry, but he was too upset. He lay his head on the bed and let the tears fall. Olivia found him there when the nurse wheeled her back into the room. She got out of the wheelchair, closed the door, and walked slowly over to Elliot. She put sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms around Elliot.

"Shh…El…it's okay El…it's not your fault," she told him.

Elliot looked up at her. She wiped the tears off his cheek as she listened to him. "I should have known something was going on…I should have helped you," he said.

Olivia shook her head. "You couldn't have done anything. I didn't want anyone to find out, so I didn't let on. Elliot, look at me," she said. She took his face in her hands and made him look into her eyes. "If anything, you saved me," she told him.

Elliot nodded and pulled Olivia into a hug. "I'm sorry…I'm the one who should be comforting you right now…How are you feeling?" He asked her.

Olivia shrugged. "Dr. Hayden gave me a prescription for some pain pills. She said I could go home," Olivia said sadly. "But I don't have a home to go to," she said.

Elliot squeezed her. "Yes you do…with me…you will stay with me," he told her. "Let's go, okay?" He asked her.

Olivia nodded and smiled weakly. She got into the wheelchair and Elliot wheeled her out to the car. They drove back to Elliot's house in silence.

Elliot's Apartment 

Elliot helped Olivia up the stairs and into his apartment. Olivia sat down on the couch, and Elliot went into the kitchen to get her something to drink. He brought back two bottles of water, and handed her one. He watched her as she silently sipped her water. "What ya thinking Liv?" He asked her quietly.

Olivia sat her water bottle down on the coffee table and looked at Elliot. "I'm thinking about the baby," she told him.

Elliot nodded and waited for her to continue. "I'd never really thought about having a baby with Clay. I guess I knew we weren't right for each other from the beginning, but then once he started hurting me, even if I had thought about it, I wouldn't have gone through with it. I never thought I loved Clay, so having a child with him really wasn't an issue. I guess I just wanted someone to come home to…but after a while I didn't want to go home at all. Now, knowing that I was pregnant, so many thoughts are going through my head," she told Elliot as she reached for his hands.

Elliot took her hands in his and entwined his fingers with her. "Like what?" He asked, waiting for her to continue.

"Like would I have been a good mother…what my baby would have looked like…would it have been a boy or a girl…would I marry Clay…things like that. Now that I think about it all…in my heart I don't know if I would have truly loved my child. I mean…it would have been a reminder of the fact that Clay had hurt me…like I was for my mother," she said. "But it still would have been my child…" she shrugged. "I'm not really sure what to think," she told Elliot honestly.

Elliot nodded and smiled comfortingly at her. "You know what I think?"

"What?" Olivia asked as she looked up at him.

"I think that maybe you weren't meant to have that baby…I don't know," he shrugged, "Maybe it all happened for a reason," he said.

Olivia smirked. "That's so cliché," she told him.

Elliot smiled. "I know…but I know that if; that when you do have a child of your own, that you will be a great mother and you will love your child," he told her reassuringly.

Olivia smiled gratefully at him. "Thanks El," she said, stifling a yawn. "Thanks for everything…"

Elliot gave her a hug. "Let's get you to bed," he said as he stood up.

"I'll just take the couch," Olivia said, stretching out.

Elliot shook his head. "Liv, you're in no condition to sleep on this hard couch. No, you'll take my bed until you get better," he told her as he helped her up.

"Well I don't want to throw you out of your own bed," she said nicely. "We can share," she decided.

Elliot nodded. "Okay, fine with me," he said. "That way I can keep a close eye on you," he said.

Olivia didn't argue. Normally she would have refused his protection. But right now, she knew that she needed it more than ever. She just needed someone to comfort and take care of her. Elliot helped her into his room.

"I'll uh…I'll leave you in here to change into some pajamas," he said as he handed her one of his large, old shirts and a pair of boxers.

Olivia smiled as Elliot shut the door behind him. She took her sweat pants off, and tried to bend down to pull the boxers up, but it hurt her too much. She then tried to take her sweatshirt off, but she had no luck there either. She sat down on the bed and sighed. "Elliot," she called.

Elliot yelled from the other room, "Yes?"

"I need your help," she admitted.

Elliot came in from the living room, and averted his eyes when he saw that she had no pants on.

"I can't do this El," she told him. "It hurts too much."

Elliot nodded. He picked up the pair of boxers he had given her and bent down in front of her. She placed her hands on his shoulders and stepped into the boxers. He pulled them up quickly, not making eye contact with her.

"Sweatshirt," she said embarrassingly.

Elliot nodded. He eased the sweatshirt off of her arms as gently as he could. He blushed when he saw that she was only wearing a sports bra underneath. But his embarrassment turned to anger when he saw that horrid bruises and welts on Olivia's abdomen. "Oh god…" he said looking at them. "Does it hurt bad?" He asked her.

Olivia nodded. "Can you help me put the cream on?" She asked him. "The doctor said it would sting…and right now I just can't handle to do it myself," she said honestly.

Elliot nodded, and got the cream off of the dresser. "Lay down on the bed," he ordered her.

Olivia lay on the bed, and closed her eyes as Elliot began to apply the medicine. She winced in pain as he made contact with her skin.

"Sorry," Elliot said. "I'll do it as fast as I can," he told her. Once he was done, he blew gently on her wounds to dry the cream.

Olivia shivered. It wasn't just pain she was feeling right now. She felt a warm feeling enter her body, but she shook the thought of it out of her head.

Once it was dry, Elliot helped Olivia sit up. He picked up the shirt and helped Olivia put it on. He eased it onto her arms, and then over her head. He pulled it down over her head, and when her head popped out, their faces were dangerously close.

Olivia's breathing got heavy, and Elliot's heart began to beat very fast. They locked eyes, and stood there for a second before Elliot blinked several times and stepped back. "Um…you okay?" He asked her.

Olivia nodded and blushed. She got into bed carefully and pulled the covers tightly over her. Elliot went into the bathroom, and came out a few minutes later, joining her in bed.

He turned off the lights and snuggled under the covers. Olivia rolled over in bed and scooted towards Elliot. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back to his chest. Olivia sighed peacefully and closed her eyes. She could feel Elliot's heartbeat lulling her to sleep. "El," she said sleepily.

"Yeah," he said, yawning.

"Thanks," she said. "Thanks for everything…"

Elliot caressed her cheek and kissed the top of her head. "You're welcome Liv…that's what best friends are for," he told her.

Olivia smiled to herself. They were indeed best friends. But did best friends blush when they helped each other change? Did their heart speed up at the sight of each other? Olivia sighed silently. Maybe they were more than best friends. Only the future would tell.


	4. Bubble Bath

In The End – Chapter Four 

**The Next Morning  
Elliot's Apartment**

A cell phone rang early the next morning. Elliot groaned and reached over to his bedside table. He rummaged around, knocking some things down before grabbing his cell phone. He didn't open his eyes as he brought the cell phone to his ear. "Hello?" He asked sleepily.

"Elliot, it's Cragen," the voice said.

"Umpf," Elliot said, sitting up. "Yeah…I'm here," he said grumpily.

"Is Olivia there too?" Cragen asked.

"Yeah…she's still sleeping," Elliot said as he looked over at his alarm clock. "Why the hell are you calling me at 6 in the morning?" He asked Cragen.

"We're getting an early start on the case this morning. Casey pulled quite a few strings last night, and somehow managed to get Clay arraigned. He's in jail, with no bail. Casey and I are going to need to come and get Olivia's statement soon," Cragen to Elliot.

"Yeah…of course. But can it wait a day or two? I don't know if she's up to that yet," Elliot said protectively.

"Sure…do you think she's up for visitors today?" Cragen asked.

Elliot sighed. "I don't know Cap…I guess it would be okay if just the four of you came by; you Casey and the boys. But just don't mention any of this…the case and everything I mean. I don't want to stress Liv out," he said.

"Yeah, okay. Well, I'm gonna give you the week off since it looks like you're going to be her caretaker. Don't worry about anything; just make sure Olivia gets better. I'll call before we come by," Cragen said before he hung up.

Elliot closed his cell phone and put it back on the dresser. He lay back down and turned over in bed. He was startled to find two chocolate brown eyes staring lazily back at him.

"Morning," Elliot said, smiling.

"Too early," Olivia said yawning.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Elliot asked her.

"No, technically Cragen did. What he say?" Olivia asked curiously.

"He just wanted to know how you were. He gave me the week off to take care of you," Elliot told her.

"You don't have to do that," Olivia told him.

"I want to," Elliot replied. "I'm gonna make sure you're as good as new," Elliot said yawning. "Why don't we get some more sleep, since neither of us can or has to go in today," he said. "How are you feeling?" He asked.

"Incredibly sore," Olivia said honestly.

Elliot nodded and scooted closer to her. Olivia put her head on his chest and closed her eyes. Elliot smiled. "Night Liv," he said.

"Night El," she replied before she fell asleep smiling.

**Elliot's Apartment  
10 O'clock that Morning**

Olivia woke up around 10 o'clock and yawned widely. She winced in pain and curled up into a ball. Her body hurt, and she didn't want to move. She turned her head and saw that Elliot wasn't in bed anymore. "El…" she called out for him.

The bedroom door opened and Elliot hurried in. "You okay Liv?" He asked, concerned about her.

Olivia smiled at him weakly. "Just didn't know where you were," she explained.

Elliot nodded and sat down beside her on the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I don't want to move," she told him.

Elliot smiled sympathetically and lay his hand on her cheek. "Is there anything I can get you?"

"One of those pain pills would be nice," Olivia said.

Elliot got up. "Sure, I'll be right back he said as he went out into the kitchen.

Olivia sighed. Her body hurt right now, but the emotional effects hadn't quite hit her yet.

Elliot came back in a few minutes later carrying a steaming plate of food. "Bacon, eggs, toast, orange juice, coffee, and a pain pill," Elliot said as he sat down next to her and held the tray in his lap.

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him. "You cooked for me Stabler?"

Elliot glared playfully at her. "I'm no worse than you are," he shot back.

"Fair enough," Olivia said. "Feed me Stabler," she ordered as she lay her head back on the pillow and opened her mouth.

Elliot laughed loudly. "Only this once, and only because you're in no condition to move. But never again," Elliot said as he put a forkful of scrambled eggs into her mouth.

Olivia gave him a wide smile full of eggs, to which Elliot responded by pretending to gag.

After breakfast, Olivia called her doctor. The doctor told her that she needed to take a bath to clean off her wounds so they wouldn't get infected.

Olivia sighed after she hung up.

"What is it?" Elliot asked.

"I have to take a bath," she replied grumpily.

"When have you ever had to complain about taking a bath?" Elliot teased her.

"Well you try laying in a bathtub trying to wash your back and your hair when you can barely move," Olivia retorted.

Elliot held up his hands in defeat. "Do you have to take one?" Elliot asked.

Olivia nodded. "The doctor doesn't want my 'wounds' to get infected," Olivia explained.

Elliot nodded. "Well… I guess I could help you…I mean you can't do it yourself can you?" He asked quietly.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. I mean I guess…yeah, I'll need some help," Olivia said embarrassed. "But I mean, I can always call Casey to come over," she said.

Elliot shook his head. "It doesn't matter to me. I mean I don't want you to get an infection, so I guess the sooner you do it the better…I'll help you," he offered.

Olivia nodded. "Okay…sure," she said.

"I'll go turn the water on, here's a towel," he said as he offered her a towel.

Olivia took the towel and pulled her 'pajamas' off. She put the towel around her and walked into the bathroom with the towel around her. She sighed a sigh of relief when she saw that Elliot had been considerate enough to put bubbles in her bath.

Elliot turned the faucet off and stood up. He rubbed his hand on his head. This was going to be awkward. "How do you want to do this?" He asked her.

Olivia shrugged. "Um, well, I guess you can turn around and I'll get into the tub," she said embarrassed.

Elliot nodded and turned so his back was towards her. Olivia got into the tub as quickly as she could and hid her body under the bubbles. "You can turn around now," she said as she closed her eyes, trying to relax.

Elliot turned around and sat down on the floor beside the tub, leaning against the wall. All he could see was Olivia's head, but that was probably a good thing. "Do you need anything?" He asked her awkwardly.

"Well I guess you could wash my back, and then you can leave…I mean that's the only thing I need help with," she told him, blushing.

Elliot nodded. "Okay…well then turn your back to me," he told her.

Olivia maneuvered her body around in the tub, and sat up, her back to Elliot. She didn't say anything, for she was too embarrassed.

Elliot soaped up the washcloth and began to slowly and gently wash Olivia's back. His cheeks started heating up, and he could feel his arousal growing.

Olivia closed her eyes as a warm feeling entered her body. "It felt so nice to have Elliot wash me," she thought before erasing that thought from her head. She shouldn't be thinking like that! Elliot was her partner, nothing else.

When Elliot was done, he got up quickly and went into the living room to let Olivia finish washing herself. He paced in the living room, wringing his hands as he reprimanded himself for getting so aroused while he was washing her. A moment later, the doorbell rang. Elliot put his hands in his pockets and opened the door.

"Elliot," Captain Cragen greeted him as he and Casey Novak came inside the apartment.

Elliot smiled weakly and welcomed them inside. Cragen sensed that Elliot was distressed, so he told Casey to go find Olivia.

"Where is she?" Casey asked Elliot.

"She's in the bathroom trying to wash up, maybe you can help her," Elliot suggested.

Casey nodded and went in to find Olivia.

Cragen sat down on the couch and Elliot finally took his hands out of his pockets and sat down as well. Cragen raised an eyebrow at Elliot. "What's going on?" Cragen asked him. "You don't look so good," he observed.

"I'm just worried about Liv," Elliot said, not exactly lying.

Cragen nodded. "Well…if you need anything, don't hesitate to let me know. How is she doing?"

Elliot shrugged. "I don't know if the whole thing has hit her yet. I mean, she hasn't shown any emotional signs that most people would after going through this. I think she's just trying to forget about it…maybe bottling everything up inside. I'm not sure," Elliot said truthfully.

Cragen nodded again. "Well, it happens. But just let her know that you're there for her, and talk to her, so that if she does breakdown, she'll have someone she trusts to lean on," he said wisely.

Elliot nodded. "Yeah, that's what I'm trying to do. I've been helping her out a lot…but some things…" Elliot trailed off as he shook his head.

"Are you uncomfortable with her staying here?" Cragen asked. "Because I'm sure Casey could take her in," he offered.

Elliot shook his head fiercely. "No, no, that's not it. I want her to stay here. She's my best friend. I want to take care of her," he said.

"If that's not it, then what is?" Cragen asked.

Elliot shook his head, and didn't say anything.

Cragen sighed. "Elliot I'm here as your friend, not as your boss," Cragen said.

Elliot looked at Cragen. "It's just…last night, she couldn't change her clothes, and I had to help her. Today, she had to take a bath, and I had to help wash her back," Elliot told him uncomfortably. "And I just got this feeling inside…this warm feeling," Elliot explained. "And I know it was wrong of me…and I don't know why it happen, but I…I…you know…" Elliot said embarrassed.

Cragen nodded. "You were attracted to her," Cragen said, understanding what he meant.

"Yeah…" Elliot said.

"Well…just take care of her, and let her know you're there for her…that's what she needs right now," Cragen said.

Elliot nodded. "Thanks Cap," he said.

In the bedroom, Casey was helping Olivia get dressed. "So Elliot was helping you bathe?" Casey asked curiously.

Olivia blushed and nodded. "I couldn't do it by myself," she explained.

Casey raised an eyebrow. "Oh of course not…but you didn't want to either," she teased, her eyes shining.

Olivia playfully glared at her. "I did not say that!" She said as she got back into bed.

"You didn't have to," Casey said sitting on the edge of the bed. "You are so obvious," she said laughing.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Olivia lied.

Casey rolled her eyes and smiled. "Well…then it will be just our little secret," she told Olivia.

"Fine," Olivia said as she crossed her arms and pretended to be angry.

Casey laughed and gave Olivia a hug. "Well, I've got to get back to work. We'll be by later," she told her.

Olivia nodded. "Thanks for coming."

After Cragen and Casey left, Elliot came back into the bedroom to find Olivia resting her eyes. He sat down on the bed beside her and watched her rest. He sighed as his thoughts returned to Olivia. "The Captain was right, I am attracted to her. But maybe I shouldn't be. I mean, she probably isn't even attracted to me. We're just best friends, partners. And the last thing she needs right now is to be in a relationship," Elliot told himself as he sighed again.

Olivia popped one eye open and looked at Elliot. He was too deep into his thoughts and watching her to notice that she was looking at him. Elliot blinked and Olivia shut her eye quickly. Elliot placed his hand gently on Olivia's shoulder. He held it there for a second before lifting it to move a lock of hair from her face, and lovingly tucking it behind her ear. He got out of bed and walked out into the living room, confused.

Olivia rolled over in bed and opened her eyes. She couldn't deny the heat that tingled through her body when Elliot touched her. But she didn't know what to do about it. So she rolled over and tried to rest her tired body.


	5. Ella Visits

One Week Later 

**Elliot's Apartment**

Olivia was in the kitchen when she heard giggling outside Elliot's apartment door. Elliot had gone in to work for a few hours to pick up some things, and Olivia was feeling much better, physically of course. She was able to get out of bed and walk around with almost no pain at all. She was still bruised, and her heart ached for her lost child, but Elliot could tell she was getting better.

Olivia smiled and walked to the door. She opened it and pretended to look surprised when she saw Elliot behind it. "Well hello!" She said, her eyes shining. She saw the small pair of feet behind him that were trying to hide.

Elliot turned around and put the body that belonged to the small pair of feet on his back and carried it inside, hiding it from Olivia. The small pair of feet giggled.

Olivia smiled and walked into the kitchen. "I made tea," Olivia told Elliot. "Would you like a cup?"

Elliot nodded. "Sure, thanks," he said graciously.

Olivia smiled. "And would the small pair of feet like anything to drink?" She asked.

Elliot leaned his head back and whispered something. He grinned at Olivia. "How about some of that apple juice we have?"

Olivia nodded. "Well I'll bring it right in," she said.

Elliot sat down on the couch and pulled the child into his arms. They whispered back and forth, giggling until Olivia returned.

When she came in, Olivia pretended to act shocked. "Why Miss Ella! I didn't even see you there! It's so nice of you to come!" She said sitting down next to Ella and Elliot.

Ella giggled. "I missed you Livia. Are you feeling better?" The young girl asked sweetly.

Olivia tickled her. "I'm better, and how are you?" She asked.

Ella squirmed in Elliot's arms and put her arms around Olivia's neck. "Much better now that Elliot got me out of that icky hospital," Ella said honestly.

Olivia looked at Elliot. "The hospital released her into my care…" Elliot partially explained.

Olivia nodded and gave him a look that said they would talk later.

Ella clasped her hands together and told Olivia all about the book that Elliot had read her earlier until she began to yawn. Olivia smiled and picked Ella up. She gently lay her down on Elliot's guest bed and covered her up with a blanket. She kissed her forehead and walked back in to sit next to Elliot.

He smiled at her as she came in. She sat down next to him and turned her body so that she was facing him. "So what is this about the hospital releasing Ella to your care?" She asked him.

Elliot smiled sheepishly. "She was going to have to stay in the hospital for at least another week until social services found a suitable foster home for her. She was so miserable, crying all the time, and she wouldn't eat. I didn't want to let her stay there, wasting away," he explained.

Olivia nodded. "Ah…so the caring father in you just had to offer to take her home with you?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

Elliot nodded and laughed. "I couldn't have said it better myself," he said. "You don't mind having her stay with us do you?" He asked her.

"Oh no! Of course not. I'm happy to have her. She's such a sweet girl," Olivia said as she lay down on the couch.

Elliot turned the TV on, and flipped through the channels. He stopped when he found a movie, _The Sound of Music_, on. He knew that Olivia liked that movie, so he put the remote down so they could watch it. Elliot put his feet up on the coffee table, and was surprised when Olivia placed her head in his lap.

Halfway through the movie, Casey and Cragen came to visit. They stayed for a while, checked on Olivia, and then left together. While they were walking down the hall of the apartment building, Casey shook her head and smiled. "Those two…" she commented.

Cragen cocked his head and looked at her. "What about them?"

Casey laughed. "That movie they were watching, they're exactly like the main characters. They're so deeply in love with each other, but they don't realize it until forever goes by. It's exactly like them," Casey said.

Cragen chuckled. "Benson and Stabler? Now there's a thought," he said as they left the building.

Back inside the apartment, Elliot had stretched out on the couch behind Olivia, and he was innocently holding her close to him. As he lay his head down on the pillow, Olivia felt his warm breath tickle her neck, and she shivered. Elliot felt her shiver, and lowered his lips to her neck, softly brushing them along her graceful neck.

Olivia drew in a surprised, yet shaky breath, and moved closer to Elliot. He brought his hands to her face, and gently caressed her soft skin as he turned her face to him. She looked deep into his eyes, searching his soul, and allowed him to kiss her. He slowly lowered his lips to hers, never breaking eye contact with her until he captured her full lips in his.

Olivia sighed at the contact and wrapped her arms around Elliot's neck. He continued to kiss her, and moved to cover her body with his.

When he did, Olivia's body tensed in response. Fear flooded her body, and she gasped for breath. She pushed Elliot off of her, and ran into the bathroom, blinking away tears. She locked the door behind her and sat down on the cold tile floor. She brought her knees to her chest, lay her head on her knees, and wrapped her arms around her body. Suddenly, all the emotions that she had been hiding crashed through her body, and she began to sob. She couldn't hold back any longer. She cried for her lost child, she cried for the man who had hurt her. She cried for the times when she had been beaten and bruised. She cried for Elliot, and she cried for herself.

Elliot sat in the living room for a few minutes, scolding himself for pushing Olivia too far, too fast. She wasn't ready for that, not after all she had been through. He heard the sobs start, and stood up. Worried about Olivia, he ran to the bathroom door, and jiggled the handle. The lock gave way, and he went into the bathroom, to find Olivia on the floor, sobs wrenching through her body. He knelt down on the floor and gently took her in his arms. He hushed her quietly, and rubbed slow, soothing circles on her back, trying to calm her down.

Olivia buried her face in Elliot's chest, and her sobs subsided. She wrapped her arms around his neck and wiped her tears on his shirt.

"It's okay…" he told her quietly. "It's alright…just let it all out…" he told her, rubbing her back and rocking her back and forth.

She took a few deep breaths, and closed her eyes, allowing herself to succumb to the weariness that overwhelmed her. Elliot felt her body relax in his arms, and he picked her up and moved her onto the bed, slowly covering her with the blankets. He tucked her in, and lovingly placed a kiss on her forehead.

A few minutes later, Ella padded into the room, rubbing her eyes. "Elliot," she said quietly, "Is Livia okay?"

Elliot pulled her into a hug and nodded. "She'll be okay. Why don't we curl up next to her?" He said tiredly.

Ella nodded and clung to Elliot. He stood up with her in his arms, and lay down next to Olivia. He helped Ella under the covers, and they both fell asleep.

**A Few Hours Later**

**Elliot's Apartment**

Elliot sat straight up, startled, when the phone rang a few hours later. He reached over and answered it.

"Hello?" He said sleepily.

"Hi Daddy," Lizzie said.

"Hey baby girl," Elliot said happily. "How are you?"

"I'm okay," Lizzie replied. "It's Thursday," she reminded him. "Is Olivia well enough for me and Dickie to still come over?"

Elliot looked over at Olivia, who was still sleeping. "Hold on a moment and I'll ask her," Elliot told her. He put the phone down, and got out of bed. He walked around to the other side of the bed and knelt down. He slowly ran his hands through Olivia's silky hair and gently kissed her cheek. "Olivia…" he said quietly.

Olivia stirred a bit and slowly opened her eyes. She smiled at Elliot. "Hi," she said groggily.

"Sorry to wake you," he apologized, "but Lizzie's on the phone. It's my night to have her and Dickie come over," he told her. "Is it alright with you? I mean are you up to having to almost teenagers running around the house?" He asked.

Olivia smiled. "Of course, that's fine. I don't want to take your time with the children away from you," she told him.

Elliot rested his hand on her cheek for a second, before going back to the phone. "Lizzie honey, it's fine if you guys come over. Are Katie and Maureen coming too?"

"Um…I don't know. I think they were going to go on a double date, but they said they would come over afterwards to say hi," she told him. Kathleen was now a freshman and NYU, and lived in a dorm with Maureen, who was a junior.

Elliot nodded. "Okay, is your mother going to drop you off, or do I need to come pick you up from the house?" He asked.

Lizzie thought for a second. "I think Mom's going to drop us off. She's got something to do, and I think your apartment's on the way."

"Okay, well I can't wait to see you," he told her. "I love you baby," he said.

"I love you too Daddy, I'll see you later," she said, hanging up the phone.

Elliot smiled and closed his cell phone. He looked over at Olivia, who was watching him. He smiled at her, and motioned for her to go out into the living room with him. He sat on the couch, and she sat next to him, curling her feet under her.

"I'm sorry about early," he told her. "I don't know what I was doing, and I'm sorry. It won't happen again," he promised her.

Olivia managed a smile. "It's okay…It wasn't that I didn't like it or anything…I mean," she paused, blushing, "I mean that I still have nightmares about Clay raping me…I just don't think I am…was, ready for that," she said honestly.

Elliot took her hands in his. "I'm truly sorry for what Clay did to you Liv. If I could have stopped him, I would. I would never let anyone do anything to hurt you Liv. You're my best friend…" he said, rubbing his thumbs gently against her hands. "And I'm sorry I scared you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you Liv, so if you need anything, or if you just want to talk…I'm here," he told her.

Olivia smiled and gave Elliot a hug. "Thank El…that means a lot to me," she said as a tear ran down her cheek.

Elliot caught the tear with his index finger. "Hey, no crying!" He teased her.

Olivia laughed. "Sorry…so are your kids coming over?" She asked, changing the subject.

Elliot nodded. "Lizzie and Dickie should be here soon. Kathy's going to drop them off," he said, not looking too happy about seeing his ex-wife.

"How are you two getting along?" Olivia asked.

Elliot shrugged. "Unless we're dropping off or picking up the kids, we don't really see each other. We're civil…no shouting or yelling…" he said.

Olivia nodded. "That's good. How are you handling it all?" She kept pushing him to open up to her about his feelings.

Elliot smiled. "Shouldn't I be the one asking you these questions?"

"Oh, stop changing the subject Stabler. I haven't really gotten to talk to you about all of this...your divorce I mean," she said, propping her feet up on the coffee table.

Elliot put his feet up beside hers, and took her hand. "Well…it's hard, I can't deny that. The children have been great about it though. Sometimes I just wonder what went wrong…if it was something I did…" he said, staring off into space.

Olivia squeezed his hand. "Sometimes two people just fall out of love…they still love each other, but they're not in love anymore…they just aren't right for each other," she said wisely.

Elliot smiled at her. "Thank sounds like what I told the kids. I just wonder what changed, what made us fall out of love…" he looking at his hand, which was holding Olivia's.

"You're not still in love with her are you?" Olivia asked suspiciously.

"No!" Elliot was quick to answer.

"Good…I mean…oh," Olivia said, blushing.

Elliot smiled. "I don't think I've been in love with Kathy for at least ten years," he said, thinking back.

"Why do you say that?" Olivia wondered aloud.

"That's when the fighting got worse…when the sex stopped being about love, and started being about making Kathy happy. I haven't…wasn't happy for a long time," he confessed.

"And now?" Olivia asked, playing with Elliot's hand; running her fingers up and down, massaging it gently.

"The sex? It's non-existent," he said.

Olivia slapped his arm. "I didn't need to know that…I meant are you happy," she said.

Elliot grinned. "I know…I am. I think I am. I don't have to go home to Kathy yelling at me. But I think I'd be happier if I got to see my kids more often…if I didn't have to wait until it's my days to have them. But you make me happy Liv. I'm glad you're staying with me," he told her, smiling at her.

Olivia looked deep into his blue eyes, which were sparkling at her. She felt her heart speed up, and her breath quicken. "I am too," she said quietly, leaning in towards Elliot.

Elliot leaned in and ran his hands slowly down her cheeks. "Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked her quietly.

Olivia nodded and licked her lips unconsciously. "More than anything," she whispered.

He stared down at her earnest face. Her eyes were nearly black with desire. The evening sun made her skin glow with a heavenly light, and her mouth…her mouth was so perfect and pink.

He wanted to kiss her. He needed to kiss her.

"And you're certain you don't love her anymore?" Olivia's voice was hoarse.

Elliot shook his head furiously.

"Elliot?" The question was a timid one.

He stopped walking and turned to her. "Yes?"

Her eyes were wide and questioning. "Have you ever truly cared about someone other than Kathy before?"

His poor heart burst with the desire to tell her how he felt, but he couldn't find the words to describe it. How did you tell someone it hurt to breathe when she was near? That your heart ached at the mere thought of her? How could he say such things and make Olivia understand that such agony was the sweetest thing he'd ever experienced? So Elliot didn't even try to use words. In fact, he didn't say anything at all. He simply smiled. And then he pulled her close and did what he'd been dying to do ever since the last time he kissed her. He kissed her again.

And this time, Olivia felt herself melting into the kiss. She nearly saw fireworks going off. She wasn't scared anymore. She knew that Elliot would take care of her, that he wouldn't hurt her. This time, she lay down on top of him and began to run her hands up and down his muscled chest. She was breathing deeply, and she knew that she wasn't going to be able to control herself. "Elliot," she moaned.

Elliot stopped kissing her for a second, and looked into her eyes. "Are you okay? Is this okay?"

Olivia nodded, desire burning in her body. "I need you," she whispered, her voice catching in her throat.

"What?" Elliot said.

"I need you," Olivia repeated.

Elliot's eyes shifted to his closed bedroom door where Ella was sleeping. Olivia followed his eyes, and her heart sagged. They couldn't; not with Ella in the house.

Elliot sat there for a second thinking. What was he going to do? I cared for Olivia…he loved her! The problem was, she didn't love him…she just needed to be intimate with someone. He wanted to be with her…but out of love. He sighed. He knew what he had to do. "We can't," he told her, looking sorry, sad, lonely.

Olivia nodded. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

Elliot smiled weakly back at her. Olivia walked into the guest bedroom and sat down on the bed. She took out her cell phone and called Casey.

"Casey? It's Olivia. Can you come and pick me up?" Olivia asked Casey.

"Sure…is everything okay?" Casey asked worriedly.

"Yeah…I'll tell you about it later," Olivia said. "I'll wait for you outside the building."

"I'll be there in about 5 minutes," Casey said.

Olivia hung up the phone, and walked back into the living room. Elliot was nowhere to be seen; she expected that he was either in the bedroom or the bathroom. She quickly wrote him a note, and slipped quietly out of the apartment.

A few minutes later, Elliot walked out of his bedroom, and immediately saw that Olivia was gone. He found the note laying to the coffee table and read it.

"El – I'm sorry…I don't know what I was doing, thinking…I'm really sorry. Casey's coming to pick me up. Thanks for letting me stay with you – thanks for taking care of me. Please don't hold this against me…I'll see you at work on Monday I guess. –Liv."

Elliot sighed. Monday was going to be one hell of a day.


	6. Flowers

Casey Novak's Apartment 

**9 O'clock **

**Same Evening**

Olivia hadn't said anything to Casey about what had happened between her and Elliot; and Casey hadn't asked. She knew that Olivia would tell her when the time was right.

They were watching a sappy Lifetime movie, and eating chocolate ice cream out of the carton. Olivia was wearing her old flannel pjs, and looked very tired. She sighed.

Casey looked over at her, and eyebrow cocked. "Want to talk?" She asked.

Olivia nodded, so Casey turned the TV off. "What's up," she asked.

Olivia shrugged. "I made a mess of things today with Elliot," she told Casey.

"How so?" Casey asked, putting the ice cream back into the freezer.

Olivia explained the days' occurrences, including her breakdown that morning, and how she just about had sex with Elliot a few hours ago.

Casey sat quietly and listened through the whole story. "So how do you feel?" Casey asked.

Olivia shrugged again. "I feel stupid in some ways. I don't know what came over me…it was so weird. But in other ways…I'm sort of glad it happened. It made me realize that maybe I am over what Clay did to me…I finally just cried…I let it all out. Maybe I am ready to move on. I just don't think I'll be able to find the right person," she said honestly.

"What makes you think that you won't be able to find the right person?" Casey asked, moving to sit next to Olivia on the couch.

"Because I think I have feelings for Elliot," Olivia explained.

"Oh, what kind of feelings?" Casey asked curiously.

"I don't know…when I see him, I get excited, my heart speeds up. When I'm with him, I'm happy – like nothing else matters. He knows everything about me – but it doesn't scare me. He's my best friend though…I shouldn't be falling for him," she told Casey.

"Why shouldn't you fall for him? Not that you haven't already, but what would be so bad about it?" Casey asked.

"You're turning into Huang," Olivia joked, smiling for the first time that night. "I guess it wouldn't be that bad. But it's so…" Olivia couldn't find the right words.

"So perfect?" Casey added. "You guys know each other so well…you know everything about each other. You're best friends, and you can talk to each other about things. It sounds to me like you would make the perfect couple," Casey said smiling.

"But how am I supposed to tell Elliot that I'm in love with him when he doesn't love me?" Olivia asked.

"He kissed you didn't he? He took care of you for a week and a half, staying up in the night and helping you bathe. He cares for you more than you think he does. Give it some time… get used to the idea that you might be in love with him. Then tell him," Casey suggested.

Olivia smiled. "Thanks Case…" she said sincerely. She hugged Casey, and stood up to go to bed, when her cell phone rang. She looked at the ID, and saw that it was Elliot. "What should I say?" She asked Casey.

"Nothing, unless he brings it up," Casey told her.

Olivia nodded and answered her phone. "Benson," she said nervously.

"Liv, thank goodness! I need your help," he said, out of breath.

"What is it?" Olivia asked worriedly. "Is everyone okay?"

Elliot laughed nervously. "Lizzie…she, ah…she started her period," he said, embarrassed.

"Oh," Olivia said. "Ohhhh…well call Maureen or Kathy," Olivia suggested.

"I did…they're both out and not answering their cell phones," he told her.

Olivia sighed. "I'll be right over. But don't tell her you called me. And don't baby her…just…just pretend you're invisible," she told him before hanging up.

Casey looked at her curiously. "What's going on?"

Olivia smiled. "Lizzie started her period, and apparently I'm the only person who will answer their cell phone. Can I borrow your car? I've got to go over there," Olivia told her.

"Sure," Casey said handing her the keys. "Call me and let me know if you're coming back or what, okay?"

"Yeah, thanks!" Olivia said, running out the door.

She hopped in the car and drove to the nearest drugstore. She ran inside, and bought a heating pad, some ibuprofen, some tampons, and some pads. The teenage girl behind the counter gave Olivia a sympathetic smile as she rang up the items.

Olivia drove over to Elliot's apartment, and took the elevator up.

Elliot greeted her at the door. "Thank goodness you're here! She won't talk to Dickie or me…I think she's embarrassed," he told her.

"Where is she?" Olivia asked.

Elliot pointed to the guest bedroom. "Good luck," he said.

Olivia smiled and knocked on Lizzie's door. "Lizzie honey, it's Olivia. I'm gonna come in, okay?"

"Okay," Lizzie said faintly from inside.

Olivia opened the door and walked into the dark room. "I hear you're not feeling to well," Olivia said.

"Did Daddy tell you?" Lizzie asked, embarrassed.

"Yeah, but don't worry…us girls stick together about this stuff. Guys get embarrassed talking about it," she told Lizzie. "But it's not that bad," she assured her.

Lizzie smiled. "My tummy hurts," she told Olivia.

"Okay. We'll take some of this. It's ibuprofen, it should take care of your cramps. Take it every six hours…it helps a lot," she said as Lizzie swallowed the two pills. "This is a heating pad. You can put it on your stomach…it also helps with the cramps…makes you less sore and just feels good," Olivia told her as she plugged it in and placed it on Lizzie's belly. Then she pulled out the tampons and pads. "I suppose you know what these are," she said, and Lizzie nodded. "I'll put these in the bathroom, so you can use them when you need them," she told her. "Just try and get some rest," she said, standing up.

Lizzie smiled and snuggled under the covers of her bed. 'Thanks Livia," she said sweetly. "Can you lay with me? I really don't want to be by myself," she said honestly.

Olivia smiled warmly. "Sure," she said, and she got under the covers, and wrapped her arms around Lizzie. She placed a kiss on her head. "Get some rest, then you'll feel better," she said quietly.

Lizzie nodded, and promptly fell asleep in Olivia's safe embrace. Olivia smiled. It was nice to feel like she could protect someone like this; a child no less. She wondered if it would have been like this with her child. The stab of sorrow hit her, but the pain for the sadness had lessened. Olivia realized that she did want a child, one that she could love, nurture, protect, teach, and help to grow. She wanted a child who would love her back. She smiled, and she also fell asleep.

A half an hour later, Elliot walked into the room, and smiled at what he saw. It was a sight for sore eyes. The woman he loved was comforting his daughter, selflessly giving up her evening to help Lizzie. He placed a kiss on both of their foreheads, and turned out the light, shutting the door behind him.

He picked up the phone to call Casey. "Hey Casey, it's Elliot," he said.

"Hey, how is Lizzie?" Casey asked.

"She's fine. Olivia brought over some stuff, and she's cuddling with Lizzie right now…" he said, and you could hear the love in his voice.

"Alright, well just tell her not to worry about my car; I'll just take a cab in the morning," she told him, "And Elliot…"

"Yeah," he replied.

"Let Olivia know you care for her," Casey said.

"Thanks," Elliot said before hanging up. He went back into his bedroom, to find Dickie and Ella sleeping in the bed. He smiled, and laughed when he realized he was out of a bed. He walked back into Lizzie's room, and lay down next to Olivia, wrapping his arms around her body lovingly, and fell asleep.

The Next Morning Elliot yawned and rolled over to find that Olivia gone and Lizzie staring at him. He sat up and smiled at her. "How are you feeling baby?" He asked her sleepily. 

Lizzie shrugged. "Better. Daddy do you like Olivia?" She asked innocently.

"Of course I do, she's my best friend," Elliot said.

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Dad…I don't mean like that…do you LIKE like Olivia," she told him.

Elliot blushed a bit, but was saved from answering when Olivia and Ella walked into the bedroom and Ella jumped up on the bed.

"Elliot, Lizzie, it's time for breakfast!" Ella yelled sweetly.

Elliot pretended to groan and got out of bed. He smiled at Olivia who blushed and turned away. "It's 6 o'clock in the morning," Elliot told Ella as he picked her up and walked into the kitchen.

Olivia followed behind them. "And it's also Monday morning, which means we have to be at work," she reminded him.

Elliot groaned as he sat down to eat. "You made me breakfast?" He asked Olivia.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I made you breakfast. We've got to leave in 45 minutes, so I'm going to go take a shower," she told him.

"You're not going to stay and eat with me?" He asked, pouting at her.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I already ate," she informed him.

"But can't you stay and sit with me?" He asked.

Olivia shrugged. "Sure, but let me get your kids and Ella out the door. They're going to take the bus to the morning care center," she told him as she went to hurry them up.

Five minutes later, Olivia had managed to get the three children out the door on time, and was sitting down next to Elliot who was finishing his pancakes. He got up and put his plate in the dishwasher, and then sat down next to Olivia again. "Liv, about yesterday…" he started.

Olivia held up her hand. "I don't want to talk about it Elliot. I'm sorry for pressuring you to do that…it was wrong of me," she told him.

Elliot nodded. "I'm not holding anything against you Liv," he told her.

Olivia smiled weakly and patted his hand. "Thanks El. I'm gonna go take that shower now," she told him as she went into the bathroom.

Elliot reached into his pocket and got out his phone. He dialed information. "Yes I'd like the phone number for a florist," he said.

**1 hour later**

**SVU Precinct 1-6**

Olivia and Elliot had driven into work separately since Olivia had taken Casey's car over to Elliot's the night before. Elliot was already sitting at his desk doing some paperwork when Olivia walked in.

She walked over to the lockers and put her purse in and got out her gun. She went over to her desk, putting her gun in its holster and sat down in her chair. She looked around and saw all 4 men in the precinct watching her. "What?" She asked, confused.

Munch pointed to the corner of her desk.

Olivia saw a large bouquet of white and pink roses sitting there. She lifted her eyebrows, surprised. "From you Munch?" She asked amusingly.

Munch shook his head. "Nope. I'm more of a chocolates guy than flowers…is there a card?" He asked.

Olivia pulled the flowers to the center of her desk and took out the small card. She read it silently to herself. She wrinkled her brow in confusion, but smiled a little bit.

"What does it say?" Fin asked curiously.

Olivia read the card out loud. "It says; 'Have dinner with me on Friday. Meet me at Di Bella at 7."

Elliot looked up and raised his eyebrows. "Who is it from?" He asked.

Olivia shrugged. "It doesn't say," she told them. "Wait, at the bottom it has a heart and then the initials E.R.S," she told them.

"You know anyone with those initials?" Fin asked her.

"I don't think so," Olivia told them.

"So are you going to go?" Cragen asked as he came out of his office.

Olivia shrugged. "I guess so. I mean I want to know who it is. And it's not like someone is going to attack me in a public restaurant. And if they try, I'll kick their ass," she said happily.

Casey Novak walked in a saw the flowers on Olivia's desk and smiled. "Hot date?" Casey asked curiously.

"Well apparently I have a secret admirer with the initials E.R.S., and I'm meeting him on Friday at 7 for dinner," she told Casey.

"Oooh, sounds romantic," Casey said teasingly. "What are you going to wear?"

The men groaned and went back to their work.


	7. Dates and Decisions

Friday Night 

It was finally Friday night. Olivia was excited to see who her secret admirer was. She knew the restaurant was fancy, so she had chosen a silk, dark green dress that fit her like a glove. It stopped right above the knee, and showed off her long legs. She even wore heels, make-up, and jewelry.

She had arrived at the restaurant a few minutes ago, but she hadn't gone in yet. She checked her make-up in the car mirror, and got out. She walked inside the restaurant and up to the hostess.

"I'm Olivia Benson, I'm meeting my date at 7," she told the hostess.

The hostess nodded and smiled. "Yes, please follow me, he's waiting for you."

Olivia followed the woman into a corner of the restaurant, ignoring the stares of many men as she passed them. The hostess showed her to a small table for two, partially secluded from the other tables. Some candles lighted it, and rose petals were strewn across the table. Her date was conspicuously missing from the table.

Olivia sat down to wait for her date. A few minutes later, she heard someone walk up behind her, but she didn't turn around. She could feel someone staring at her, but she still didn't turn around.

She felt a strong pair of hands gently rest on her shoulders, and suddenly the person bent over and kissed her softly on her neck.

She looked up, startled at the person's boldness, but was shocked into speechlessness. Her date sat down across from her, took her hands and smiled.

Olivia's eyes were wide with surprise. "Elliot," she managed to squeak out. Elliot was her date, her secret admirer!

Elliot smiled. "You look beautiful tonight Olivia," her told her shyly.

Olivia blushed. "Thank you…" she said before laughing. "I should have known it was you! E.R.S; Elliot Richard Stabler. This is why you left while I was getting ready. You little sneak!" She exclaimed happily.

"Are you glad it's me?" Elliot asked her.

Olivia nodded. "I wouldn't have…I don't want it to be anyone else," she told him honestly.

Elliot beamed. "Good. Because if you had said no, I don't know what I would do," he joked.

Olivia laughed. "What's for dinner?" She asked as her stomach rumbled.

As if on cue, the waiter brought a large plate of pasta and sat it down on the table along with two glasses of red wine. Then he disappeared.

Elliot scooted his chair over next to Olivia's. "We're sharing," he told her as he handed her a fork.

Olivia nodded. "Very romantic," she thought to herself.

When they finished their pasta, Elliot looked over to Olivia, who had sauce on her lip. He leaned in slowly, and he kissed her, running his tongue over her lips to get the sauce off. Olivia parted her lips and moaned softly. She wrapped her hands around Elliot's neck and pulled him closer. Elliot smiled as he continued to kiss Olivia.

When they came up for air, Olivia sighed happily. "Wow," she said, her eyes twinkling.

"You wanna go back to the apartment?" Elliot asked her as he slipped an arm around her waist.

Olivia nodded. "Yes please," she said.

Elliot left the money on the table, and the walked out hand in hand. Elliot had come in a cab, so they drove Olivia's car back. They were silent most of the way, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence.

Elliot slipped his arm around Olivia's waist, and she slipped hers around his waist as well. They walked closely up the stairs and into the apartment. It was amazingly quiet.

"Where is everyone?" Olivia asked him.

"It's Kathy's weekend to have Lizzie and Dickie. I asked Casey if she could watch Ella for the night," he told Olivia with a twinkle in his eye.

Olivia smiled and lay down on the couch. "Oh really?" She asked him seductively.

Elliot nodded as he took his jacket and tie off. He walked over to Olivia and took her in his arms. He carried her into his bedroom and lay her on the bed. He slowly unzipped her dress and slipped it off of her body.

He took off her bra and underwear, and inhaled sharply as he drank in the sight of her.

"What?" Olivia asked, sitting up.

Elliot gently pushed her onto the bed and lay on top of her. "You're the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen," he whispered into her ear.

Olivia smiled dreamily. She ran her hands down Elliot's muscular chest and unbuttoned his shirt. Elliot kissed her neck and her throat as she undid his belt and slipped his pants off.

Olivia sighed as she ran her hands down Elliot's back. He kissed her softly, but passionately on the lips, and she moaned in response.

The two spent the rest of the night making love and discovering each other.

Early the Next Morning 

**The Apartment**

Olivia rolled over and woke up with a start. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock. She was surprised to find that it was 4 o'clock in the morning. She looked beside her, and found Elliot lying naked next to her. She sighed and closed her eyes as she remembered the night before. It had been amazing. It was what she had always wanted, what she had always dreamed of.

"Oh my god," Olivia said quietly. "I just had sex with Elliot…oh god…" she thought over and over again.

She put some sweats on and put on her running shoes. She had a lot to think about. She stretched, and quietly exited the apartment. She ran for about 2 miles before she found herself in front of Casey Novak's apartment. She ran up the front steps and rang the buzzer.

"Hello?" Casey's sleepy voice answered a few moments later.

"Casey it's Olivia, can I come up?" Olivia asked.

"Sure," Casey said as she buzzed her up.

Olivia took the elevator up to Casey's apartment, and knocked softly on the door.

Casey opened the door and smiled groggily at Olivia. Olivia walked in and sat down on the couch. Casey brought her a cup of coffee and sat down next to her.

"What are you doing at my house at 5 o'clock in the morning?" Casey asked tiredly. "Not that I don't mind your company, but I know you're not a morning person," she joked.

Olivia smiled weakly. "I woke up about an hour ago. I went out for a run; I had to clear my head. Casey, I did something I shouldn't have," she confessed, "and now I have to leave town."

Casey raised her eyebrows at Olivia. "What did you do, and why do you have to leave?" Casey asked curiously.

"I had sex with someone. Not that it was bad, because it was great. And I don't regret it…but I'm afraid he does," she told Casey as she ran her hands through her hair.

"And you have to leave?" Casey asked again.

Olivia nodded. "I don't just want sex from him…I want more. And I'm afraid he doesn't…not that I think he's shallow, but I don't think he has feelings for me. And I can't bare to see him every day, as a reminder of what I can't have," Olivia explained.

Casey nodded. "Well that makes sense…sort of. But you love your job, you have friends here," she told Olivia. "And if you left, what would Elliot do?" Casey asked.

Olivia turned her head and wiped a tear away.

Casey sighed. "It was Elliot, wasn't it?" She asked knowingly.

Olivia nodded. "Oh Olivia," Casey said sadly as she hugged her friend. "I can't tell you what to do, because this is your life. But do what your heart is telling you…" Casey advised her.

Olivia stood up. "That's why I have to leave. But I don't want to leave Ella here," she explained.

"You've grown attached to her, haven't you," Casey asked smiling.

Olivia nodded. "I have," she confessed.

"Then take her with you," Casey told her.

"How?" Olivia asked. "I'd have to adopt her."

"So adopt her," Casey said shrugging.

Olivia smiled. "I would love to. But it's such a long process," she said sadly, "And I need to get away soon."

"Well when your best friend is Assistant District Attorney, I'm sure she could help you out," Casey said happily.

Olivia's eyes lit up. "Oh, could you!" She asked excitedly.

Casey nodded. "I can get the adoption papers from the office, you can fill them out, and I can go before a judge by the end of the day to have him grant you temporary custody until the adoption process goes through," Casey explained.

Olivia smiled and hugged Casey. "Thanks Casey…thanks a lot," she said as she looked at her watch. "I'm gonna go in to work, Cragen's there by now. I'm going to resign, and then I'll come back here. Just fax the papers over here when you get them, and I'll fax them back," Olivia said as she walked towards Casey's guest bedroom.

Casey nodded. "I'll go get dressed," she said as she went into her bedroom and closed the door.

Olivia smiled when she saw Ella's angelic sleeping form. She sat down on the bed beside her and gently shook her. "Ella honey, it's time to wake up," she said softly.

Ella yawned and opened her eyes slowly. "Hi 'Livia," she said, rubbing her eyes.

"Morning sweetie," Olivia said as she kissed her forehead. "Today is going to be a long day, okay? So I need you to listen to me," she told Ella.

Ella nodded and cuddled in Olivia's lap.

"How would you like it if you could live with me from now on?" Olivia asked her.

Ella looked up happily at Olivia. "You mean forever and ever?"

"Forever and ever!" Olivia promised.

"So you would be my mommy?" Ella asked wide-eyed and excited.

Olivia nodded. "If you want me to be," she said as she smiled.

Ella threw her arms around Olivia's neck. "YES! Oh yes! I love you Mommy!" She said happily.

Olivia hugged the girl back and wiped a tear from her own cheek. "I love you too Ella. Now Casey is going to help us fill out some papers, and then we're going to have to talk to a judge about it," she told Ella as she helped her get dressed. "Do you know what I judge is?"

Ella shook her head and yawned.

Olivia smiled. "Well a judge wears a black robe and sits behind a big desk. They make important decisions. We're going to ask the judge to let me be your mommy," Olivia explained. "And we'll talk to the judge, but don't worry, they aren't scary okay?"

Ella nodded. "Okay. I'll be good, I promise," she told Olivia.

"I know you will be. And hopefully, the judge will let you live with me, and let me be your mommy," Olivia told her.

Ella smiled and clasped her hands around Olivia's neck. "Will Fia come and live with us too?" Ella asked hopefully.

Olivia's brow furrowed. "Who's Fia?" She asked, confused.

"Fia's my sister. Mommy sent her away last year…I haven't seen her since," Ella said sadly.

Olivia thought for a moment. "We'll talk to Casey about it, okay?"

Ella nodded. "Okay."

Olivia picked Ella up and balanced her on her hip. "Are you ready to go?" She asked.

Ella nodded. "When's breakfast?"

"We're going to get some after we talk to my boss," Olivia explained as she walked out of the door.

Ella placed her head on Olivia's shoulder and nodded.

Casey was already waiting in the living room when Ella and Olivia walked out. "You all ready?" She asked.

Olivia nodded. "As ready as I'll ever be," she said sadly.


	8. Resignation

Half-an-hour later 

**SVU Precinct 1-6**

Casey parked her car in front of the precinct, and she, Olivia, and Ella got out. Olivia picked Ella up and walked inside.

Olivia knocked on Cragen's door, and Casey waited with her.

"Enter!" Cragen bellowed.

Ella hid her face in Olivia's shoulder as Olivia walked in.

Cragen smiled when he saw Olivia. "What are you doing here so early?" He asked her.

Olivia sat down in a chair and placed Ella on her lap. Casey pulled up a chair beside her.

"Cap, I've had a great six years here," Olivia began, "And I can't imagine my life without all of you here at the precinct. You're like my family. But something happened, and I've had to rethink my life. I'm resigning from the force, and moving. I'm not sure where yet, but I know I have to leave New York," she explained.

Cragen sat there with a look of shock plastered on his face.

Ella spoke up. " 'Livia's my new mommy," she said sweetly.

Cragen looked at Olivia who nodded. "I'm adopting Ella, and taking her with me," she told him.

Cragen sat there for a moment. "Does Elliot know?" He asked.

Olivia shook her head. "I don't want him to know anything more than I left New York and the force," she said sadly.

Cragen nodded. "We'll miss you Olivia. If you ever come back to New York, you'll always have a job here with us," he said as he stood up to give her a hug.

"Thanks Cap," Olivia said as a tear ran down her cheek.

"Good luck Olivia," he said as Olivia walked out of his office.

Ella walked to the car with Casey while Olivia cleaned out her desk and her locker.

Olivia cast one longing look over the precinct before she walked out and joined Casey and Ella in the car.

She sighed and watched the building grow smaller and smaller as Casey drove off.

Ella crawled onto her lap and wiped her tears away. "It's okay Mommy," she said as she snuggled into Olivia's chest.

Olivia smiled. "I know," she said.

Casey changed the subject. "Ella, Olivia was telling me that you have an older sister," Casey prompted.

Ella nodded excitedly. "Her name is Fia, and she's a lot older than me," Ella said happily.

Casey looked at Olivia. "The girl's name is Sophia Ann Kilpatrick, and she is 16 years old. She lives in Raleigh, North Carolina in a foster home," Casey explained.

Olivia nodded. "Ella…would you like your sister to come live with us too?" Olivia asked.

Ella looked at Olivia with her eyes twinkling. "And you would be her Mommy too?" She asked happily?

Olivia nodded. "If she wanted, I would be her Mommy too," Olivia said.

Ella smiled. "That would make me very happy!"

Olivia laughed. "Well, Casey?"

Casey smiled. "Since the girl is in foster care in Raleigh, you'll have to go before a judge down there to gain custody. It shouldn't be too hard. I'll pull the files for you," Casey offered.

Olivia nodded. "Thanks Casey, thanks a lot."

They pulled up in front of Casey's office, and they all hopped out. "Time to fill out paper work!" Olivia said as they walked inside.

Meanwhile 

**At the SVU Precinct**

Elliot ran into the precinct in some rumpled jeans and a t-shirt. He had woken up a few minutes ago to find Olivia gone, and drove to the precinct to look for her. He ran into Cragen's office. "Where is she!" He asked worriedly.

Cragen looked at him sadly. "She left Elliot," he said.

"What do you mean she left?" Elliot asked, bewildered.

"She left New York," he explained.

"How? When? I just saw her last night!" He said, upset.

"She left about an hour ago. She dropped her gun off. And then she left," he told Elliot sadly.

"No!" Elliot yelled. "No! She can't leave!" A tear ran down his cheek and he sat down in a chair. "She can't leave me," he said sadly.

"I'm sorry Elliot," Cragen said. "I'm sorry.

Elliot dropped his head into his hands. "Did she say why?" He asked.

Cragen shook his head. "All she said was that something had happened and she's had to rethink her life," he explained.

Elliot stood up and pushed the chair out from behind him and stormed out of Cragen's office. He ran over to Olivia's desk and pulled open all of her drawers and looked in her locker. All that was left was a few of her mildly chewed on pencils and pens, and one of her jackets. Elliot lifted the jacket to his chest and buried his face in it. He sank into her chair and began to cry, his chest heaving.

Cragen walked out of his office and patted Elliot on the back. "It's okay son, it's okay," he said reassuringly.

Elliot shook his head. "She's gone," he said sadly.

Cragen nodded. "Yes she is, she's gone. But she'll be back."

"I love her," Elliot said inhaling Olivia's scent from the jacket she hastily left behind.

"Does she know?" Cragen asked.

Elliot shrugged. "I thought she did, but I guess not."

"Give her some time. If she loves you too, she'll be back," Cragen said wisely before leaving Elliot alone.

That Afternoon 

**JFK Airport**

Olivia wasn't sure how, but by some miracle Casey had managed to get her before a judge, who then granted her full custody of Ella until the adoption went through. She also set up a meeting with Ella's sister Sophia and her foster parents later that week, and got Olivia's things out of Elliot's apartment in 8 hours.

It was 3 in the afternoon, about 30 minutes before Olivia and Ella's plane would take off for RDU airport in Raleigh, North Carolina. Casey helped Olivia get her bags out of the car and checked in.

Olivia gave Casey a hug. "Thanks for everything Casey, thanks a lot," she said sniffing back a tear.

Casey hugged her back. "Promise me you'll call?"

Olivia smiled. "Every Friday night, I promise" she said as she took Ella's hand.

Casey bent down and hugged Ella. "You take care of your Mommy, you hear?"

Ella nodded and giggled happily.

Their flight was announced, and Olivia picked up her carry on bags. "Bye Casey," she said as she and Ella disappeared into the airport.

Casey watched them board their plane, and drove off in silence as tears trickled down her cheeks.

Olivia held Ella as she watched New York City, the only home she had ever known, grow smaller and smaller as the plane flew off. She shut the window and closed her eyes.

Ella sensed Olivia's anxiety, and placed a loving kiss on her tired cheek.

Olivia smiled gratefully and wrapped her arms around Ella tightly.


	9. Settling In

One Week Later 

**Raleigh, North Carolina**

Olivia and Ella had pretty much settled into their new lives in Raleigh. They had rented an older, but very nice, home inside the beltline with a big backyard. Ella was enrolled in a local pre-school, and Olivia had found a nice job as a journalist for a magazine. They were comfortable, but Olivia knew it wasn't how her life was supposed to be. But then how _was_ it supposed to be? Was she supposed to be with Elliot? Was she supposed to be in New York? She wasn't sure, but she knew it would be good for her to get away from everything and sort her thoughts out.

That afternoon, Olivia and Ella were going to see Ella's sister Sophia. From what Casey had told Olivia, the foster parents meant well, but they weren't exactly the most loving people in the world. They had no intentions of adopting Sophia, but it didn't seem like anyone did. It was hard to find a family willing to adopt a teenage girl.

Olivia was nervous as she drove up to the coffee shop where she was going to meet Sophia. If things went well, she would bring her back to her house to see Ella, who was staying with a neighbor.

She walked inside and inhaled the delicious aroma of fresh coffee. She was tempted to order some, but since her stomach had been bothering her, she decided to stick to her bottle of water. She sat down on a comfy couch, and waited. She had a nasty habit of crossing her legs and shaking her foot when she was nervous, and her foot was shaking about a mile an hour.

A few minutes later, a very neat, gray haired woman of about 50 walked in. A girl of about 16, who Olivia assumed was Sophia, followed her. The girl had loose dark chocolate ringlets, pale blue eyes that reminded Olivia of Elliot's, rosy pink cheeks, and full pink lips. Olivia smiled at her.

As soon as the girl saw her, she raced over and hugged Olivia. Olivia smiled, and was happy about the girl's excitement. She hugged her back.

"Sophia!" The gray haired woman sternly reprimanded the girl.

Sophia shrunk back and sat down on the sofa, smoothing her skirt.

Olivia stood up and smiled warmly at the thin-lipped woman. "I'm Olivia Benson," she said nicely as she held out her hand.

The woman just looked her up and down before saying anything. "Mathilda Stevens," she said coldly. "I'll be picking Sophia up at 5," she said before she left the coffeehouse.

Olivia just watched her leave. She took an immediate dislike to the woman. She wrinkled her nose before returning to Sophia who was sitting on the couch. She offered the girl a warm smile, which seemed to calm her nerves.

"I'm so glad to finally meet you!" Sophia gushed. "When I heard that Ella had been adopted, I could only hope that her adoptive parents would look for me too," she said happily.

Olivia smiled. "Well the adoption hasn't been finalized yet, but Ella and I would like it very much if you would become part of our family too. If you want," Olivia said taking Sophia's hand.

Sophia's shining eyes grew wide. "Would I?" She threw her arms around Olivia. "Oh yes!" She exclaimed, just like a little girl.

Olivia laughed and hugged Sophia back. "Well, that settles it then! Would you like to come back and see Ella and the house?" She asked.

Sophia nodded. "Yes please!"

Olivia led her out to the car. On the way back to the house, Olivia kept up the conversation. "So tell me about yourself," she said turning the radio down.

"Well my birthday is January 12, so I just turned 16. I don't have my license yet…Mrs. Stevens didn't want me to get it. But I do have my permit. I like to sing, listen to music, do yoga, go jogging, shop," she said giggling. "I go to a big school, a magnet school, so it's very competitive and I have a lot of work. But I like it," she said shrugging.

"No boyfriend?" Olivia teased.

Sophia blushed. "No. There was this one guy I thought I liked. He was cute…but he turned out to be a jerk," she said wrinkling her nose.

"Guys are jerks," Olivia said knowingly.

Sophia laughed. "I'm sure you don't have trouble getting boyfriends. You're so gorgeous," she told Olivia nicely.

Olivia smiled warmly. "Thank you. But I don't date much. I worked a lot…most of the time. Now…maybe I'll have time to date more now. But only if I find the right person," she said sadly.

"You've had your heart broken?" Sophia asked innocently.

Olivia nodded.

"Does it hurt a lot?" Sophia asked as she watched Olivia.

Olivia nodded again. "You think you're going to die…but you don't. I wish I could say you get over it…but you don't. At least I haven't. I don't know if I ever will," she said honestly.

"I'm sorry," Sophia said genuinely as she patted Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia smiled. "It's okay…it's life," she said as she pulled into her driveway.

Sophia's eyes lit up. "Oh your house! It's so pretty! It's just like a little English cottage! I love it," she exclaimed.

The front door was opened and Ella flew out of the house. "Fia!" She yelled happily as she ran over to her older sister.

Sophia bent down and pulled Ella into a big hug. "Oh Ella! I've missed you so much! You've gotten so big!" She said as she wiped a tear away.

Olivia smiled and paid the babysitter who left the family alone. Olivia ushered them inside.

They all sat down on the couch, with Ella in the middle. "This is my Mommy," Ella said as she smiled happily at Olivia. "Is she going to be your Mommy too?"

Olivia and Ella both looked anxiously at Sophia, awaiting her answer.

Sophia pretended to hesitate for a moment before flashing a huge smile. "Yes," she said. "Yes!"

Olivia smiled and drew Ella and Sophia in for a hug. "Well, now all we have to do is fill out the paperwork and wait for a reply."


	10. Sleepless Nights

Two Weeks Later 

**A Friday Night**

Olivia had received the court's reply the Friday before. They had granted her full custody of the girls, who had changed their names to Sophia Ann Benson, and Isabella Rose Benson.

Sophia had moved into the house, and Olivia was happy. She missed New York, but she wouldn't trade her this family for anything in the world. She had just kicked Sophia off the phone and kissed her good night. Ella had been asleep for a little while, and Olivia decided to give Casey a call. She had some news to share.

She crawled under her covers with the phone and dialed the familiar number.

"Hello?" Casey answered.

"Hey Casey, it's Olivia," she said.

"Hey!" Casey said happily. "How's everything going?"

"Great, it's great," Olivia said honestly. "Since I've legally adopted the girls, they changed their last names, and Sophia moved in," Olivia told her.

"Are you happy?" Casey asked.

"Yes," Olivia said. "I miss everyone…but I wouldn't give the girls up for anything. I just wish…" she trailed off.

"You wish what?" Casey pushed.

"I wish that I could have this family up there. So I could be with you guys," Olivia said.

"Yeah," Casey said. "You could always move back up here when you sort things out," she advised.

"I would love to, but I don't think I could," Olivia said sadly.

"Why not?" Casey asked curiously.

"Casey…I went to the doctor two days ago," she said softly.

"You're not sick are you?" Casey asked worriedly.

"No, no. I'm pregnant Casey," Olivia said as she started to cry.

"Oh. God." Casey said, stunned.

They sat there for a moment, not saying anything.

"It's Elliot's?" Casey asked.

"Yeah," Olivia said. "Yeah, it is."

"Well, what are you going to do?" Casey asked.

"I'm due in late September, so I can still work for the time being. I'll keep the baby of course, and I'm going to love it and give it a good life," Olivia said decisively.

"Are you going to tell him?" Casey asked.

Olivia hesitated. "Yes. I'm not sure when though, and I definitely don't know how."

"Olivia, promise me that you and the girls will come up here in August when the girls are out of school. You can stay with me and have the baby up here," Casey offered. "You can't do it alone."

Olivia thought for a moment. "Okay. Okay, I promise, I'll come."

"Good. Well, I've got to go. It's been a long day, and I think we both need the sleep," Casey decided.

"Yeah, okay. I'll talk to you later," Olivia said.

"Take care Olivia, and call if you need anything," Casey said before hanging up.

Olivia put the phone on her bedside table and turned out her light. She rolled over in bed and wiped a tear from her eye.

A few minutes later her bedroom door opened and Sophia crawled up onto Olivia's bed and snuggled under the covers with her. "Mom, are you okay?" She asked worriedly.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, I'm okay," she said as she wrapped her arms around Sophia.

"I heard you talking to Casey," Sophia said honestly, "But I didn't hear what you were saying."

Olivia turned so she was facing Sophia. "I'm having a baby," she said softly. "I'm due in late September," she told her.

Sophia blinked. She just looked at Olivia. "A baby?" She asked. She put her hand on Olivia's stomach. "A baby."

Olivia nodded. "Yeah. A baby."

Sophia thought for a moment. "Was it the man that broke your heart?" She asked.

Olivia nodded again.

"Tell me about him, please," Sophia asked gently.

Olivia sighed. "Okay. His name is Elliot Richard Stabler. He lives in New York City. I've known him for about 7 years. He was my partner when I worked for SVU. After my boyfriend Clay hurt me, Elliot took care of me. We lived together for a little while. He was my best friend. He was my everything. He had dark hair, and pale blue eyes, like yours. He was tough, but he was such a good man; the best. I loved him," she said honestly.

"Why did you leave him?" Sophia asked as she rubbed Olivia's back.

"I'm not really sure. I knew I had loved him for a very long time. But he had been married; he has four kids from a previous marriage. So we were always best friends, nothing more. But he got divorced a few months ago, when Clay started hurting me. When he took me in and took care of me, that's when I realized that I had fallen in love with him, and that since he wasn't married anymore, maybe he could love me too," she explained. "But I left because I didn't think he loved me too, not like I loved him. And I couldn't work with him every day, not being reminded of what I couldn't have," Olivia told her.

Sophia nodded. "But you still love him?" She asked.

Olivia sighed. "With all of my heart," she said without hesitation.

Sophia snuggled with her. "Then don't worry. You'll get him back," she decided before they both fell asleep.

New York City 

**Elliot's Apartment**

Elliot tossed and turned in his bed, not able to sleep. He reached over and grabbed the pillow next to him on the bed and buried his face in it. It smelled like Olivia. He missed her. God, it hurt more than any pain he had ever felt before. Why hadn't he told her that he loved her? Because he certainly loved her more than anyone, or anything else in the world. He closed his eyes and let Olivia's scent lull him to sleep.


	11. Facing the Future

**August 1st, 2005**

**JFK Airport**

A very pregnant Olivia, an excited Sophia, and a sleeping Ella got off the plane in New York City. Sophia lifted Ella into the two-seater stroller and grabbed the carry on bag. Olivia took Sophia's hand and pushed the stroller towards the doors of the airport. When they got outside, Olivia stopped for a moment and closed her eyes, her face upturned. Home. She was home. She breathed in deeply, the smell, and she listened for the sounds of the city that she had missed.

Sophia smiled at Olivia, at her mother, and squeezed her hand. "Don't worry Mom, everything's going to be okay," she reassured her.

Olivia opened her eyes and smiled. "I know sweetie," she said happily. "I'm just glad to be home."

At that moment, Casey's car pulled up in front of them and Casey honked the horn. She hopped out of the car, along with Captain Cragen. Olivia smiled at them as they rushed over to her.

"Olivia! You look amazing!" Casey said happily as she hugged her.

"Thanks Casey…I feel huge," Olivia joked.

Cragen came over and hugged her as well. "How are you doing?"

Olivia smiled. "I'm doing well, I really am," she said.

Sophia squeezed her hand. Olivia turned. "Casey, Cap, this is my daughter Sophia. Sophia, this is my best friend Assistant District Attorney Casey Novak, and my old boss, Captain Don Cragen," she introduced them.

Sophia hugged both of them. "It's nice to meet you," she said happily.

Ella stirred in the stroller and opened her eyes. "Mommy!" She cried, not seeing Olivia.

Olivia hurried over and squatted down next to the stroller. "It's okay sweetie, I'm right here," she soothed Ella.

Olivia handed her a sippy cup out of her purse and smiled at Ella.

Cragen and Casey shared a look. "Well, let's get going," Casey said.

Olivia nodded. "Sure, let's go. Cap, if you could get the bags," she said nodding towards the stack of bags waiting beside her.

Sophia lifted Ella out of the stroller and strapped her into the car. Olivia folded up the stroller and helped load the car.

Once everything was in, they got in the car and drove to Casey's apartment. Cragen helped them deposit everything off inside before they sat down. Ella was playing quietly on the floor with her dolls, and Olivia sat on the couch next to Sophia with her hands on her belly.

"You look good Olivia," Cragen said softly.

Olivia smiled. "Thanks. I feel good. I'm happy," she said as she looked at Ella and Sophia.

"Being a mother suits you," Casey said. "More than I thought it would. Not that I ever doubted you," she added.

Olivia nodded. "I must admit, at first I was a little wary, I mean come on, me, being a mother! But I love it. I really do. The girls are great. I love them," she said as she hugged Sophia.

"And the baby?" Cragen asked.

"I love the baby too," Olivia said as she rubbed her belly.

"Who's the father?" Cragen asked softly.

Sophia looked at Olivia who wore a pained expression on her face. Olivia looked away. "Elliot is," she said.

Cragen looked surprised, but not shocked. "Well, I guess that kind of makes sense. Does he know?"

Olivia shook her head. "I'm going to tell him when I'm here though," she said.

"Does he know you're here?" Cragen asked.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah, he knows I'm coming to visit Casey," she said.

Cragen looked at his watch. "Well I've got to get back to the precinct," he said as he stood up.

Ella's head popped up. "Mommy, can we go too?" She asked sweetly.

Olivia sighed. "Sure, just give me a few minutes," she said. "Girls, put on something fresh and brush your hair," she told them. Olivia went to the bathroom and gathered her tote that held a variety of juices, crackers, and books for Ella. She brushed her hair and fixed her make-up. She put a blue collared dress shirt, but paired it with a pair of casual black capris and black sandals. She sighed.

"Okay, I'm ready," she said a few minutes later as she walked out into the living room.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Casey asked worriedly.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah. Girls?"

Ella and Sophia came from the bedroom looking fresh in their new, clean clothes. Olivia fixed Ella's hair before going out the door.

They drove to the precinct and the five of them got out. Olivia held Sophia's hand in one hand, and Ella's in the other as she took a deep breath and prepared to see her old friends, and maybe Elliot. She was nervous, anxious, about what he would think, what she would feel. Cragen opened the door for them, and the three girls walked to meet their future.


	12. Not a chapter, but please read

A/N: i realize these few chapters generated a buit of commotion, but hey, sometimes that's a good thing.

haha okay so. anyways. i'm leslie, more commonly known as ellie. this is only my 3rd fanfiction - 2nd for svu. thanks for all the reviews. they were oh so entertaining. seriously. thanks. but yeah i'm sort of scratching my head about a few things, debating what i want to do with some parts of my next chapters, so if anyone would like to read my chapters before i post them and let me know what you think, just e-mail me. thanks a lot. oh and i was going to update and put in a new chapter but someone siad a few things cough archangewoman cough and i thought that maybe i should put some more things in first.

oh yes and **archangewoman**, thanks for the input - all of it. if you'd like to be my beta reader person thing, just e-mail me. 


	13. Visiting

SVU Precinct 1-6 

Olivia grasped Sophia's hand as she pushed Ella's stroller inside the bullpen. Munch and Fin were sitting at their desks, fighting with each other as usual. Olivia smiled as she walked up to them. Fin looked up and laughed. Munch turned to see what he was staring at, and his mouth dropped open in surprise.

Olivia smiled. "What, you've never seen a pregnant woman before?" She teased them.

Fin got up and pulled Olivia into a hug. "God Olivia, you look great!" Fin complimented her.

Olivia laughed and ran a hand through her hair self-consciously. "Thanks," she said.

Munch got up out of his seat, and regarded Olivia with a raised eyebrow. "You got knocked up, huh?" He asked, looking serious.

Olivia shrugged. "You didn't get any smarter, huh?" She shot back.

Munch threw his head back and laughed. "You got me there," he said as he gave her a light hug. "Who's the lucky man?"

Olivia cocked her head. "Well that's sort of why I'm here…he doesn't exactly know yet…" she explained.

Fin raised his eyebrows. "So you came back to New York to tell him?"

Olivia nodded. "I'm staying with Casey until after the baby's born, then I'll go back to Raleigh," she told them.

Munch coughed. "Have you contacted him yet?"

Olivia shook her head. "That's kind of why I came here," she said.

"Came here, to the precinct?" Fin asked.

Olivia nodded slowly.

After a few moments, a look of understanding passed over the men's faces. "Elliot," Munch said quietly.

Olivia nodded. She looked over at his desk, noticing that he wasn't there. "Is he here?" She asked.

Fin shook his head. "He didn't come in today, we haven't heard from him," he explained.

Olivia wrinkled her brow. "That doesn't sound like Elliot," she said.

Fin nodded. "Well since you left, he hasn't exactly been himself," he told her, offering her a seat at her old desk.

Olivia looked at her desk. It was dusty, and unused. "Where's his partner?" She asked.

Munch smiled slightly. "He didn't want another one."

Olivia nodded. "How has he been different?"

Fin shrugged his shoulders. "He's been down, not exactly happy. He works all the time, more than he used to. He doesn't like staying at his apartment, so when his kids aren't with him, he sleeps in the crib. Sometimes I catch him staring at your desk, or looking at the picture of you he keeps on his desk. He misses you, a lot," Fin told her.

Olivia sighed. Sophia coughed slightly, and Fin looked over at her, and then back over to Olivia. "Yours?" He asked.

Olivia smiled and nodded. "These are my daughters Sophia and Isabella. You remember Ella, don't you? Sophia's her biological sister," she explained.

Fin nodded. "I see, it's nice to meet you," he said shaking Sophia's hand.

Sophia smiled at him. "It's nice to meet you too. I've heard so much about you and your partner; it's great to finally meet you."

Munch smiled. "You talk about us?"

Olivia nodded. "All those stories, how could I not share them?"

Fin laughed and looked at his watch. "It's 6 o'clock, you might want to get your kids fed," he said, helping Olivia out of her seat.

She nodded and hugged both of the men. "I'll see you later," she promised. "Ella, say bye-bye to Uncle Munch and Uncle Fin," she said to her daughter.

Ella raised her small hand and waved at the men. "Bye Unca Munchies, bye Unca Fin Fin," she shouted happily.

Olivia smiled and pushed the stroller out of the door with Sophia following her.

**Casey's apartment**

It was about 10 o'clock, and everyone was tired from the plane ride. Olivia put her daughters to sleep, and crawled into her bed. She lay awake for a little while, thinking about the day. She had hoped to see Elliot so she could talk to him, but she was nervous about his reaction. She realized that she probably hurt him considerably when she left without saying goodbye. She sighed, and fell asleep.

Two hours later 

**Midnight**

**Casey's apartment**

Olivia's cell phone rang on the nightstand next to her. She groaned and reached for it. "Benson," she answered groggily.

"Olivia, it's Cragen," he said.

"I thought I didn't work for you anymore," she said as she rubbed her eyes.

"There was an accident, I need you to come down to St. Vincent's ASAP," he said before hanging up.

Olivia slammed her phone shut and swung her legs over the edge of the bed. She slowly got up and threw some clothes on. She used the bathroom and brushed her teeth before going to wake Casey. She walked into Casey's bedroom and shook her friend gently.

Casey rolled over and woke up, startled. "Olivia, are you okay?" She said as she sat up quickly.

Olivia nodded. "Cragen called. There was an accident. I have to go down to St. Vincent's," she whispered.

Casey nodded. "Do you know what happened?"

Olivia shook her head as she headed for the door. "I'll call you later. Can I take your car?"

Casey nodded and handed her the keys. "Keep your cell on," she called as Olivia left the apartment.

**St. Vincent's Midtown Hospital**

**10 minutes later**

Olivia walked into the hospital tiredly, rubbing her back. She walked up to Cragen, confused. "What's up?" She asked, yawning.

"Sorry to wake you Olivia, but there was an accident," he explained.

Olivia nodded. "I know that, but what happened?" She asked again.

Before he could answer her, she heard footsteps running up towards her. She turned around and was shocked to see Elliot's children running up to her. Tears were running down their faces as they smothered her in a big hug.

Realization hit Olivia as she comforted them and looked at Cragen. "Elliot?" She asked quietly, her voice hoarse.

Cragen nodded. "I'm so sorry," he said, laying a hand on her back.

Olivia looked over at the door as three paramedics wheeled Elliot into the emergency room. She managed to run after them. Elliot's eyes were closed, but he kept repeating something over and over.

"Wait!" She yelled after the paramedics.

One of them stopped and ran back to her. "Are you Olivia?" He asked.

Olivia nodded. "How'd you know?"

"He keeps repeating your name over and over," the paramedic explained as he helped her over to where the doctors were looking over Elliot.

She took Elliot's hand and began to cry.

Elliot opened his eyes for a moment. "Don't cry Liv," he said in a hoarse voice. "I've always loved you," he told her as he placed a hand on her stomach weakly. "I'll always love you."

The doctors rushed Elliot's gurney out of the ER. Olivia watched the swinging doors slam behind them.

Dazed, with tears streaming down her face, she walked back into the waiting room. Cragen helped her into a chair and put his arm around her.

"What happened?" She asked, her voice wavering.

Cragen shook his head. "I don't exactly know. I got a call from the 1-7. They found him about 30 minutes ago in an alley. He was shot in the shoulder. They think it was a robbery attempt, but he put up a fight and managed to knock the other guy out before he fell unconscious," Cragen explained.

Olivia nodded. "There was so much blood…it hit a major artery…" she said, knowing how serious it was.

Cragen nodded. "They're going to do their best to fix him," Cragen comforted her.

Olivia began to cry again. "He's going to die," she said, "And I'll never get to tell him that I love him. He'll never get to see the baby…" she said quietly as she lay her head on Cragen's shoulder.

"He knows you love him," Cragen told her as he patted her shoulder.

"How do you know?" Olivia asked, raising her head to look at him.

"Right after you got out of the hospital, he told me that he's had feelings for you for quite a long time. Then, after you left, he told me that he loved you…that his heart was broken," Cragen said quietly.

"I was wrong to leave him. I came back, to apologize and tell him about the baby. Now I won't be able to do either," she said sadly.

"Don't give up hope," Cragen told her. "Just pray for him."

Olivia nodded and closed her eyes. She fell asleep from pure exhaustion.


	14. By His Side

The Next Morning 

**5 O'clock**

**St. Vincent's Midtown Hospital**

Olivia woke up to someone shaking her gently. She opened her eyes and yawned. She smiled sadly at Cragen, who was standing in front of her. "Any news?" She asked.

Cragen shook his head. "He's still in surgery. A nurse came out to say that they'd be finishing up in the next 30 minutes, so I thought I'd wake you," he told her.

Olivia nodded. "Thanks."

Cragen sat down next to her. "I uh…I have something I need to tell you…I think you should know…in case Elliot doesn't make it," Cragen said as he watched her.

Olivia rested her hands on her protruding stomach and sighed. "Okay…"she said quietly. "What is it?"

Cragen hesitated a moment before continuing. "Elliot and I had some deep talks after you left…most of them were about you, and how he felt about you. He shared some things with me, and I just thought that you had a right to know…that he would want you to know," Cragen began. "He was telling me about your relationship…he told me that he fell in love with you the moment he first saw you. He thinks you're beautiful, intelligent, witty, charming, sweet, graceful…believe me he could go on and on. He thinks the world of you, and it's obvious to everyone who's around him. I think you guys had…have…a lot of potential. You're best friends, you can tell each other everything. You guys have great chemistry…and as I said before, it's obvious that you're in love. He told me that he wanted to marry you one day," Cragen told her.

Olivia sighed and blinked back tears as she rubbed her belly.

"Maybe you don't believe me, but he bought you a ring Olivia, before you left," Cragen said as he pulled a small box out of his pocket. "I think he would have wanted you to have it, something to remember him by," Cragen said as he handed her the box.

Olivia nodded and opened the box. Inside was a sparkling white gold ring. Diamonds and small sapphires surrounded a pearl. Olivia began to cry as she looked at the ring. She took in out of the box and began to slip it on her finger.

"Wait," Cragen said. "Read the inside," he told her.

Olivia turned the ring so that she could see the inscription on the inside. It read, "Liv, you are the love of my life, always and forever, Elliot," in small letters. Olivia smiled through her tears and pondered what to do with the ring. She took off her small silver chain necklace, and slid the ring on it before putting it around her neck again. The ring hung down near her heart, and for once in the past two days, she felt at peace.

1 Hour Later 

**St. Vincent's Midtown Hospital**

A doctor in a set of scrubs walked out into the waiting room and towards Olivia and Cragen. Olivia struggled to stand up, and Cragen had to help her out of the chair. The doctor took off his mask and stopped in front of them. "Mr. Stabler is out of surgery and in recovery now," the doctor told Olivia.

"How is he?" Olivia asked quietly.

"He's still unconscious, but it's too soon to tell whether there was any brain damage," the doctor explained. "We managed to fix the artery, but until he wakes up, there's not really much we can find out."

Olivia nodded. "Will he make it?"

The doctor sighed. "The next twenty-four hours will determine that. I'm sorry I can't tell you anything more. You may go in and sit with him," he told her.

Olivia looked at Cragen.

"Go ahead," he told her as he gave her a hug. "I'll call Casey and your girls."

Olivia smiled and then turned to the doctor. "Okay, I'd like to see him."

The doctor nodded and led her down the hall to Elliot's room. Olivia walked in and sat down in the chair next to Elliot's bed. She took his hand and brushed a kiss across his lips. She let her tears fall freely down her face as she watched Elliot. He wasn't moving, and he looked so weak.

Olivia kissed Elliot's knuckles and began to talk to him. "El, it's me, Liv. I don't know if you can hear me, but I hope you can. Elliot, I'm so sorry I left you. It was wrong of me, and I realize that now. I was just so afraid; of what, I'm not exactly sure. I loved you Elliot, I still do. I just didn't think, didn't know that you loved me too. After that night, I didn't think I would be able to work with you every day, knowing that I would never be able to have you. When you were married, I knew I loved you, but it was different. Now, or then I guess, you were single. I wanted to be with you so much, I wanted you to love me. I was just too afraid that you wouldn't that I didn't stay around long enough to let you tell me that. El, I'm sorry I broke your heart. I wish I hadn't left, I really do. But I'm here now. You need to get better so you can see our child being born, because I don't know if I can do it without you. I love you Elliot, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you…" Olivia told him, wiping the tears from her face.

She sat there for a few minutes before she heard someone come up behind her and she felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw Casey standing behind her. "Hey," she said quietly.

Casey smiled at her. "How are you doing?" She asked.

Olivia shrugged. "It's all just…too much. It's not fair," she decided.

Casey shook her head. "No, it's not. Ella and Sophia are outside, can they come in?"

Olivia nodded. "Thanks Casey," she said squeezing her hand.

Casey smiled at her as she ushered Olivia's daughters inside. Ella ran up to Olivia and launched herself on Olivia's almost non-existent lap. Olivia wrapped her arms around Ella and hugged her tightly. "Hey sweetie," she said. Ella kissed her mother on the cheek lovingly before sticking her thumb in her mouth and leaning her head on Olivia's shoulder.

Olivia smiled at Sophia who pulled up a chair next to her. "So this is Elliot," Sophia said, looking at the body lying in the hospital bed.

Olivia nodded slowly. "I wish you wouldn't have to meet him like this," she said.

"I 'member Elliot," Ella stated. "He took care of Mommy when Mommy was sick," she said before sticking her thumb back in her mouth.

Olivia kissed Ella's curly blonde head. "Yes he did. And Mommy loves him very much."

"Have you been able to talk to him?" Sophia asked.

Olivia shook her head. "When they brought him in, he told me that he loved me…then they took him away. He hasn't regained consciousness yet," she explained.

"At least you know he loves you," Sophia said.

Olivia nodded. "I talked to Cragen earlier. Elliot had shared some things with him, and Cragen felt that Elliot would have wanted me to know. Elliot was going to ask me to marry him," Olivia told her as she showed her the ring.

Sophia smiled. "Would you have said yes?"

Olivia smiled back. "If I hadn't been stupid and stayed here, I would have said yes in a second. God, I've loved Elliot for as long as I could remember…" she said sadly.

Sophia put an arm around her mother. "Don't worry…he'll be okay," she reassurred Olivia.

Olivia leaned back. "I hope so. Can you take Ella? I'm going to try and get some sleep. I didn't get much last night," she explained.

Sophia took Ella and put her in the stroller. "We're going to go have Casey take us to get some food. I'll have my cell phone if you need us," she said as she gave her mother a kiss. "Love you," she said as she walked out the door.

"Love you," Ella echoed as Sophia pushed her stroller out the door.

"Love you too," Olivia called after them. She pressed a kiss on Elliot's forehead before falling asleep in the chair beside him, still clutching his hand.


	15. Pains

August 3rd 

**9 p.m.**

**St. Vincent's Midtown Hospital**

Olivia woke up and yawned. She stood up and stretched, and a sharp pain shot through her back. "Ugh," she said. "Shouldn't have slept in that chair," she said to herself. She walked around for a little bit, trying to ease the pain. She walked into the bathroom, took an ibuprofen, and sat back down. She smiled over at her two children sleeping on the couch next to her. She kissed both of their foreheads, and pulled a blanket over them. She kissed Elliot's forehead, took his head, and managed to fall back asleep.

Same day 

**11:00 p.m.**

Olivia was awoken with a start when pains began to shoot through her stomach. She groaned and managed to stand up. She wasn't sure what they were, but she shook them off as indigestion, not something uncommon in pregnant women. She tried to walk around the small room, but the pains got worse, and Olivia slumped to the floor in pain. "Soph," she managed to choke out.

Sophia woke up and rushed over to her mother's side. "Mom, what is it? What's wrong?" She asked, worried and scared.

Olivia shook her head. "Go get a doctor," she said weakly.

Sophia rushed out into the hall where Cragen and Casey were sleeping. She shook them awake, and Cragen ran to get a doctor. Casey went with Sophia back into the room and sat down on the floor next to Olivia. "What is it Olivia?" She asked.

"I thought it was indigestion or something, but god Casey, it hurts so bad," she said as a tear trickled down her face. She squeezed Casey's hand tightly as another sharp pain ripped through her body.

Sophia rubbed Olivia's back as Casey tried to calm Olivia. "It's going to be okay, Cragen went to get a doctor…just try to keep breathing deeply," she advised.

Olivia nodded and squeezed her eyes closed.

Cragen and a doctor ran into the room with a few nurses and a gurney in tow. They helped Olivia get onto the gurney, and they began to wheel her out of the room.

"No!" Olivia cried. "I have to stay here, I have to stay with Elliot," she told them.

Cragen looked at the doctor. "Please Doc, please, it's important to her."

The doctor nodded. "Nurse, bring another bed in here," he said as he took Olivia's vitals.

Cragen took Ella out of the room, and Casey and Sophia held Olivia's hands as they transferred her to another bed right next to the unconscious Elliot.

The doctor hooked Olivia up to a fetal monitor and took her pulse and blood pressure. "120 over 80," he yelled at the nurse. "Give her an IV, 10 cc Diotocin, her blood pressure is too high," he said. "I'm going to need to do an internal," he told Olivia.

She bit her lip and lay back on the bed. The doctor finished his exam and took of his gloves. "You're going into labor," he told her.

Olivia shook her head. "No, I can't be. I'm only 7 months along," she said, scared.

"Well, the baby wants to come, and the baby is coming. You're about 6 centimeters dilated. Once you get to 10, we'll start pushing. Nurse, give her some platocin. I'm sorry Ms. Benson, but I can't give you any pain medication, you're too far along," he told her as he left the room.

Olivia looked at Casey. "I can't do this," she said, closing her eyes.

"Yes, yes you can. You have to Olivia. You've come this far, and you can't give up now," she reassured Olivia.

"I need Elliot," Olivia said as tears ran down her face. "I need him to hold me," she said sadly.

Sophia squeezed her mother's hands. "I know you do…but we'll be here…don't worry," she said, trying to comfort Olivia.

The blood pressure medication doubled as a sedative, and managed to knock Olivia out for an hour or two.

When Olivia woke up two hours later, doctors and nurses were flying in and out of the room. Casey and Sophia were no where in sight. Olivia managed to stop a nurse. "What's going on!" She asked.

"Your Mr. Stabler has woken up," the nurse told her as she left the room.

Olivia looked over at Elliot, who was sitting up and smiling at her. "Elliot!" She said as she leaned over and grabbed his hand.

Elliot kissed her hand. "Liv…I've missed you."

"I know, and I'm so sorry for everything Elliot," she said as she placed a hand on her belly. "I was wrong…"

Elliot nodded. "I forgive you Olivia, I do. The doctor said you're in labor," he said as he smiled.

Olivia nodded. "Two hours ago I was 6 centimeters…the doctor should be by to check me soon," she told him.

Elliot managed to slowly get out of his bed and sit in a chair next to Olivia's bed. He gently kissed her forehead. "You know I love you, right?"

Olivia nodded. "I do…I love you too…with all of my heart," she said as the doctor walked in.

"Well Ms. Benson, I'll check you now," he said as be pushed up her hospital gown. "Well, you're 10 centimeters dilated, so you're ready to begin pushing with your next contraction," he told her.

Olivia smiled. She looked at Elliot who was beaming at her. "It's yours Elliot," she said quietly as she felt another contraction coming on.

"I know," he said as he squeezed her hand. "Let's have a baby."

Olivia closed her eyes and pushed as hard as she could.

"Good," the doctor said. "Very good. I can see the head, look Dad," he said to Elliot.

Elliot looked down and smiled at Olivia. "It has dark hair!" He told her excitedly.

Olivia smiled and squeezed his hand as she continued to push.

Twenty minutes later, the doctor told her that her child would be delivered in the next two pushes. Olivia was sweating, and Elliot was sitting next to her, helping her along. His arm was in a sling, but the doctor had said there was no sign of brain swelling or any other wounds, so it was fine for him to be up and about, as long as he didn't use his arm.

Olivia gave one more long, hard push, and the doctor pulled a tiny baby out. "It's a boy!" The doctor shouted as he wiped the small baby boy off and handed him to Olivia.

Elliot cut the umbilical cord and sat down next to Olivia and their new son.

Olivia held her son and tears streamed down her face and she kissed his tiny cheeks and hands. "Oh Elliot," she breathed.

Elliot tilted her head towards him, and gave her a very passionate kiss. "I love you Olivia, and I love our son," he said.

Olivia smiled. "I know," she said.

The doctor smiled and took a few pictures for the proud parents before the nurses took the baby off to be cleaned and weighed.

Elliot crawled into bed next to Olivia and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so proud of you," he told her. "You're going to make such a great mother."

"What are we going to name our son?" She asked as she lay her head on Elliot's chest.

"His name is going to be Benson Tyler Stabler," Elliot said, "After his mother, who is the most beautiful, strong, loving, and wonderful person I know," Elliot said as he kissed Olivia.

"I like it," Olivia said smiling. "I like it. Oh god Elliot, we have so much to talk about. We didn't think you were going to make it," she told him.

"I'm sorry I scared you…I was afraid that I'd never get to see you again either," he said truthfully.

"Elliot…Cragen told me some things that he thought I should know in case you didn't make it," Olivia told Elliot as she played with his hands.

"Like what?" Elliot asked, smiling at her.

Olivia reached down her shirt, and pulled out the ring he bought that was hanging on her necklace.

Elliot reached behind her and unhooked the necklace. "Well…I don't think it belongs around your neck. I think it belongs on your finger. I can't promise that everything will be perfect, because it won't be. And I can't promise that we won't fight, because we will. But I can promise that no matter what happens, I'll always be by your side, I'll always have your back, and I'll always love you with all of my heart. Olivia Serena Benson, will you make me the happiest and luckiest man in the world and marry me?" Elliot asked, looking deep into Olivia's sparkling chocolate brown eyes.

A tear trickled down Olivia's cheek as she captured Elliot's lips in her own and kissed him with everything that was in her.

"I take that as a yes," Elliot whispered in her ear after he broke the kiss.

Olivia nodded, and smiled into Elliot's eyes as he slid the ring on her finger.

Elliot wrapped his arms around her and held her close to him. "Promise me you won't ever leave me again," he said to her softly.

"I promise," she told him. "I promise I'll always love you."


	16. Storm Clouds May Gather

August 4th 

**6 a.m.**

**St. Vincent's Midtown Hospital**

Olivia had given birth to Benson Tyler Stabler about 15 minutes ago, and she was resting comfortably in her fiancé's arms.

A knock on the door startled them out of their passionate embrace. "Come in," Olivia called.

Sophia and Ella dashed in and smothered Olivia in a big hug. Casey was right behind them. Olivia hugged and kissed them all and smiled at Elliot. "Quiet down, quiet down," she said happily.

"Girls, I'd like you to meet Elliot. Elliot, these are my daughters, Sophia, and you remember her sister Ella," she said.

Elliot nodded and smiled at them. "I'm very pleased to meet you," he said.

"Oh hush!" Sophia said as she gave him a hug, careful not to hurt him. "You're going to be our Dad, so you don't have to be so formal," Sophia joked.

Olivia laughed and squeezed her daughter's hand. "That's right," she said as she showed everyone her hand. "He is going to be your dad!"

Ella climbed into Elliot's lap and kissed him on the cheek. "I missed you Elliot…I mean Daddy…and Mommy did too. She cried a lot…I'm glad you came back, because now Mommy will be happy again," the little girl said innocently.

Elliot kissed the top of Elliot's head. "Well now I can be happy again too Ella. I love you and your Mommy very much," he said, smiling at Olivia.

Ella pouted. "What about 'Fia and the baby?"

Elliot laughed. "I love them very much too, of course I do!"

Everyone hugged the happy couple, before another knock at the door startled the happy family.

Olivia's doctor walked back into the room. "Ms. Benson, Mr. Stabler," he said nodding at them. He pulled up a chair. "I'm afraid I have some bad news."

Everyone's faces drained of color, including Ella's, who could sense that something was wrong.

Elliot spoke first. "What is it?" He asked slowly.

"I'm afraid your son's lungs aren't fully developed, and he can't breathe on his own yet," the doctor told them quietly.

"He's going to be okay though, isn't he?" Olivia asked, squeezing Elliot's hand.

"Since he was two months pre-mature, it's not as bad as it could have been. Luckily his other organs are functioning fine. He's up in the Neo-Natal Intensive Care Unit, and he has an IV and he's being given oxygen," the doctor told them. "He may be there for at least a month," the doctor told them. "I'm sorry," he said to the family.

They were all shocked. Casey coughed. "It's a boy?" She asked.

Olivia nodded. "Benson Tyler Stabler," she said quietly before she dissolved into tears.

Elliot wrapped his arms around Olivia tightly and pulled her to her chest. "Shh…" he said quietly, running his hands gently through her hair, trying to calm her. "He's going to be fine…" he reassured her.

Sophia sat next to them on the bed, and pulled Ella into her lap. She rubbed Olivia's back, and wiped the tears from her own eyes. Casey left the room to give the family some time alone.

"Why did this happen to him?" Sophia asked quietly.

The doctor sighed. "Ms. Benson's blood pressure rose considerably, and probably due to that and the large amounts of stress she was under forced her to go into pre-mature labor," he explained. "And because he was born two months prematurely, there was a chance that his organs wouldn't be fully developed," the doctor explained.

"Are there any long-term effects?" Elliot asked.

The doctor shook his head. "95 percent of the time, there aren't any long-term effects at all."

"And the other 5 percent?" Elliot questioned quietly.

"It's possible for the child to suffer brain damage, causing some sort of mental retardation. Other effects are asthma, heart trouble, and weakened immune system…" the doctor told them. "But your son is a fighter. He's coping fine with the respirator, and he's moving around which is promising."

"Can we see him?" Olivia asked as she wiped tears from her eyes.

"You can see him for 15 minutes every other hour.

"I want to see him now," she told the doctor.

The doctor nodded. "I'll have a nurse bring you a wheelchair and she can show the four of you up to the Neo-Natal ICU," he told them. "Mr. Stabler, will you be fine without a chair?"

Elliot nodded. "I'll be fine, we just want to see our son," he told the doctor, who then left.

Olivia lay back in her bed. "It was all my fault," she said quietly, to no one in particular.

Elliot lay his fingers softly on her mouth. "Don't say things like that. You couldn't have done anything to stop him from coming early. It's not your fault you were under stress. You couldn't help it. You're the perfect mother Olivia, and it wasn't your fault, I promise you that," he scolded her gently.

Olivia lay her head on his chest. "I know, but I just can't help but thinking that…"

"Mom," Sophia interrupted her. "We all love Benson, and we all know that no one could have done anything. If anything, you kept him healthy. You ate right and followed doctors orders all through your pregnancy. Don't worry Mom, he'll be alright," she reassured her mother.

Olivia kissed her forehead. "Thanks sweetie."

"Mommy?" Ella asked, looking up at Olivia with big eyes.

"Yes honey?" Olivia asked, running her hand through Ella's long blond curls.

"Can we go see baby Benson now?" She asked innocently. "I want to see my brother."

Olivia nodded. "As soon as the nurse comes," she told Ella, who nodded too.

Cragen, Munch, and Fin entered the room, with Casey right behind them. They all gave Olivia hugs and kisses on the cheek before they sat down in chairs around her bed.

"So I heard there's a baby Benson," Munch said.

"Well, technically he's a baby Stabler," Elliot said, kissing Olivia lightly on the lips.

Everyone smiled in understanding.

"But you may call him baby Benson," Olivia added, "Because his name is Benson Tyler Stabler."

Cragen smiled. "So you two worked everything out?"

Olivia showed them her hand. "Yes, we did."

"Congratulations," Fin said happily.

"It's about time you two got your heads out of your sixes and realized how sickeningly in love you were," Munch said dryly, but with a genuine smile playing at his lips.

Fin rolled his eyes. "You're only saying that because you're jealous you don't have a woman."

Munch shrugged. "After three wives, you sort of give up. I think they've got me on the "America's Most Un-Wanted Men," he joked.

"Where's your son?" Cragen asked, changing the subject.

Casey shot him a glare.

Elliot coughed, and wrapped his arms tighter around Olivia. "He's in the ICU. His lungs aren't fully developed, so he's on a respirator and an IV," he explained.

The men nodded, not sure what to say.

"I'm sure he'll be fine. If he's anything like his parents, he'll put up a big fight. You two are incredibly stubborn, and you never let anything go without giving it all you've got. I'm sure he'll be fine," Cragen said, lightening the mood.

A nurse walked in with Olivia's wheelchair. "He already is stubborn," she said smiling. "The four of you may accompany the family, but I'm afraid you'll have to watch from behind the glass," she told them.

Munch cracked a smile. "Well that's unusual. We'll be on the other side of the mirror," he said, referring to them interrogating the suspects on the opposite side of the one-way mirror.

Everyone laughed.


	17. A Miracle Indeed

Same Time 

**St. Vincent's Midtown Hospital**

Elliot helped Olivia into the wheelchair, and everyone left her room. The nurse showed them to the neo-natal ICU, where the four family members had to put on scrubs, rubber gloves, and masks. They didn't want Benson catching any germs or getting sick.

Cragen, Casey, Fin, and Munch waited near the viewing window for the family to come forward and show them the baby. Sophia held Ella back a few paces behind the couple, so that Elliot and Olivia could have a moment alone with their son.

Elliot wheeled Olivia up to Benson's incubator. "He's so tiny…" Olivia observed, trying to keep her tears back. She stroked her son's tiny hand through a whole in the incubator. "He's perfect…" she said, counting the number of fingers and toes he had.

"He beautiful, just like his mother," Elliot said, kissing Olivia lightly.

Olivia smiled up at him with tears in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered.

Sophia took some pictures of the family and of her new little brother. "His hair's dark like ours," she observed.

Ella stood next to Olivia and put a small hand to her own head. "Not like mine," she said with a pout.

Olivia smiled and kissed her. "But it's blonde like Maureen's, Lizzie's, Katie's, and Dickie's. You're beautiful and we love you," she said, consoling her youngest daughter.

Ella smiled. "I know, I love you too Mommy. And I think you are bee-yoo-tee-ful too," she said as she gave Olivia a sweet but sloppy kiss on the cheek.

A nurse walked up to Olivia. "Dr. Hudson said that he thinks it would be alright if you nursed your son. We can give him oxygen through a nose tube, but that way you can nurse and hold him," she told Olivia.

Olivia beamed at the nurse and wiped away her tears. "Thank you," she said. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

The nurse smiled as she gently changed Benson over to the nose tube, and carefully handed him to Olivia. All the while, Sophia snapped photos for a scrapbook she planned to make, before taking Ella outside to leave the couple alone.

Elliot pulled up a chair next to Olivia, and put his arm around her, holding her close as the nurse instructed her on what to do.

Olivia, scared but excited to be nursing for the very first time, undid her hospital gown. She gently pulled her son close to her, and he latched on to her breast and began to nurse readily.

Olivia smiled as a tear ran down her cheek. She watched her son open his dark blue eyes for the first time, and gasped as he looked her in the eyes.

"El…" she said quietly.

Elliot squeezed her shoulders, and gently held his son's hand. "I know Liv…he's perfect…you did a wonderful job," he said as he kissed her lovingly on the lips.

"We did a wonderful job," Olivia corrected him, smiling.

Elliot nodded. "God Liv…you're even more beautiful than I remembered," he said, as he looked at her and caressed her bare shoulders.

Olivia blushed. "Thank you…" she said shyly, lowering her eyes.

Elliot put a hand under her chin, and lifted her head so that he could look into her eyes. "I love you…" he said as he kissed her forehead.

"I know…" she said. "It's just I haven't liked my body in such a long time…it's been quite large for the past 7 months...and…we've just got so much to talk about."

Elliot nodded. "I know…later…we'll talk about it all later. Right now," he said as he smiled down at his son, "Right now I just want to watch my beautiful son nurse on his gorgeous mother…God Liv, you have no idea how amazing this is," he said to her, as he wiped a tear out of his eye.

Olivia leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips. "I do know…" she said smiling. "I'm so glad you were there with me El, I don't think I could have done it without you…I was nervous…but you got me through it…" she told him honestly.

"And you did a great job. Look at him, he's perfect," Elliot said, as they looked at their son.

Benson was looking up at his parents peacefully with dark blue eyes. As if on cue, he stopped nursing, and gurgled happily.

Olivia and Elliot smiled. Olivia placed a kiss on her son's dark head of hair and leaned back in Elliot's arms. "Do you think he'll be okay?" Olivia asked as Benson fell asleep quietly in her arms.

"Yes," Elliot said without hesitation.

"But how can you be so sure," Olivia asked.

"Because we're going to love him and take care of him," Elliot said as he helped Olivia put her robe back on.

"Yes…yes we are," she said as she held Benson close to her heart. "Can you wheel me up to the receiving window so that we can show him off to everyone?" Olivia asked as she stroked her sleeping son's tiny hand.

"Sure," Elliot said as he stood up and pushed her over to the window where everyone was waiting anxiously.

Olivia turned Benson around gently, and held him up so that everyone could see him. Benson opened his dark blue eyes, and looked around at all of the people. He blinked a few times before falling back asleep. All of their friends oohed and aahed over Elliot and Olivia's precious little son. He was a miracle indeed.

Elliot took him from Olivia and held his son for the first time. Olivia watched with a look of love and pride as the same looked crossed Elliot's face. She rested her head on Elliot's side, and smiled up at him.

Elliot kissed his son's tiny forehead, before handing him back to the nurse. Olivia stood up carefully, and wrapped her arms around Elliot. Elliot stroked her hair and her back, as Olivia cried gently into his shirt.

"It's going to be okay Liv, he's going to be okay," Elliot said to her softly.

Olivia nodded and looked up at him. "I know…I'm just crying because I'm happy…and relieved that he looks and is acting healthy," Olivia told him.

Elliot kissed her softly on the mouth, letting his lips linger on hers for a while. "I love you Olivia Benson," he said, looking into her eyes.

"I love you too," Olivia said as she kissed Elliot again before yawning.

"Let's get you back in bed," Elliot said as he helped her back into her wheelchair.

Olivia had fallen asleep by the time they got back to her room, and Elliot had to rouse her and help her into bed.

He crawled under the covers next to her, and held her close to him. "I've wanted to do this for such a long time," Elliot whispered to her.

Olivia opened her sleepy eyes and smiled at him before falling fast asleep in his safe embrace.

**Three Days Later**

**St. Vincent's Midtown Hospital**

**10 o'clock in the morning**

Olivia was dressed and sitting on the edge of her hospital bed, her bag packed. Elliot was taking her home today – back to his apartment. Benson would be staying in the hospital for at least another week, but they were allowed to visit him every 3 hours, which they were planning on doing.

Elliot came down the hallway, whistling happily. He walked in the room and gave Olivia a big hug, and swept her off of the bed into his arms. "Ready to go home?" He asked.

Olivia smiled. "Very much so. I just wish Benson could be coming with us," she told him truthfully.

Elliot nodded. "I know. But he's doing so much better. He'll be home with us in no time," he assured her.

Olivia nodded and got into the wheelchair a nurse had brought. "I know. Let's go home," she said to him.

Elliot kissed her lovingly on the lips and his eyes smiled at her. "I love you Liv," he told her.

Olivia smiled back. "I know. I love you too."

After saying goodbye to Benson and making sure the hospital had enough of Olivia's milk to feed Benson in case he got hungry before she came back, they left.

The drive home was quiet, but enjoyable. Olivia held Elliot's hand, and looked out the window at the familiar sights that she had missed for so long. "I can't believe it's been 7 months since I last saw you and New York," Olivia told him.

"Believe me, it felt like so much longer," Elliot commented. "But I'm glad that you're back now."

"Me too," Olivia said squeezing his hand as they pulled up in front of his apartment.

Elliot helped her out of the car and up the stairs, carrying her bag for her. "Welcome home," he said as they walked into the apartment.

Olivia smiled and sat down on the couch tiredly. Elliot dropped her bag in the bedroom, and sat down beside her. "Want a foot massage?" He asked kindly.

Olivia nodded. "Please…I've missed them…" she said.

"I hope that's not the only thing you've missed," Elliot said smiling at her.

Olivia shook her head. "It's not. El…do you think we could talk now? I've got some things I want to tell you."

Elliot nodded. "Sure, go ahead."

Olivia closed her eyes and breathed deeply for a moment before beginning. "I'm going to start from the beginning of my story. I don't quite know how to say this, so forgive me if I fumble it a bit, but just hear me out," she started slowly. "Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted my own prince charming to protect me, love me, and take care of me. When I was young, my prince charming would have been my father. As I grew older, he would have been my husband, or boyfriend. I always pictured him as being strong, tall, dark hair, but with piercingly blue eyes. He would take care of me when I was sick, and help me through my hard times. He would protect me from all of my fears. He would cheer me on, and believe in me. Most importantly, he would love me and give me the life that I wanted. A part of me was afraid of finding my prince. Afraid that he might end up hurting me, or stop loving me. Afraid that we would have children, and that I would fail as a mother. When I started working for SVU, I hadn't found my prince. When I walked in that first day, I was so incredibly nervous. I thought that I was going to throw up and faint right there. But when I saw you, something inside of me calmed. I felt at ease, but I also felt very…connected…to you. You were gorgeous, and you look exactly like my prince. But you were married…so I kept searching. I never found my prince charming," she said quietly.

Elliot started to interrupt her, but Olivia put her fingers on his lips, quieting him. "So when you got divorced, I felt that maybe I had a chance with you…because you were already my best friend, my mentor, my rock, my everything. I wanted you to be my lover too. But I was also scared. Scared that maybe you wouldn't want me…scared of rejection. But you didn't reject me. God…we had some good times didn't we? But I got afraid again. Everytime I start to get serious about a relationship, I have second thoughts and back out. I knew that I loved you…god how I loved you. But I was afraid that maybe you didn't love me too…I know that it was stupid of me to think that…it was so obvious that you did. But I didn't want to be rejected, and then to have to sit across from you every day and be reminded of what I couldn't have. That's why I left," she told him.

Elliot nodded. "And while you were gone?"

"I was extremely happy with my life…well what I had of my life; Ella and Sophia and being pregnant. I was nervous about telling you, but I knew that I had to. I knew that you would want to be a part of the child's life. I was so conflicted. I didn't know what to do. So I promised Casey that I would come up here to have the baby, because I couldn't do it alone. And I wanted to spill my heart to you, hoping that maybe you'd reconsider and love me too," she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"But then I couldn't find you, and I realized how much I had hurt you. I was going to apologize, and tell you everything. Then I got the call that the spouse of every detective fears; there was an accident. Except this time it wasn't Kathy or your spouse receiving the call, it was me. I was afraid that you weren't going to make it, everyone thought that you wouldn't make it. That's when Cragen told me that you loved me, that you wanted to marry me. So I knew that you loved me, but I thought that I wouldn't be able to have you…" Olivia trailed off as the story came to a close.

"But now you do. We have each other, and we have baby Benson, and we have the girls and my children. We have our friends…we have each other," he told her, pulling her into his lap.

She buried her head in his chest. "And it just seems to good to be true," she said quietly.

"Perhaps. But I know that we love each other and that we're going to do everything to stay together," he reassured her as he kissed her head.

Olivia nodded. "You didn't hate me did you?"

Elliot shook his head. "You broke my heart. I'd never experienced that before…I thought I was going to die," he told her. "I never got over you, and I don't think that I ever would have. But I could never hate you Olivia Benson, never."

"I'm sorry for hurting you," she told him.

"I know. And I'm sorry for hurting you too," he told her.

Elliot kissed Olivia passionately, running his hands through her hair. Olivia sighed and clasped her hands behind Elliot's neck.

A few minutes later, Sophia and Ella came into the apartment. "You know if you keep that up, baby Benson is going to become a big brother very soon," Sophia joked.

The couple blushed. "It's okay," Sophia said shrugging. Olivia lay her head happily on Elliot's chest. Ella climbed up on Elliot's lap, and Sophia sat next to Olivia, laying her head on her lap. "I'm glad you guys are happy," she said sweetly.

"Me too," Ella said, not knowing what she was agreeing to.

Olivia laughed. "So are we."

"So tell me about your kids," Sophia said to Elliot.

Elliot smiled. "Well my oldest is Maureen. She's 22 and is in her second out of 4 years of graduate school at NYU. She has a boyfriend named Zeb, and they want to get married once they finish school and find comfortable jobs. She's studying psychology, and loves to play shrink. Kathleen, or Katie, is 17. She's a junior at a Catholic school not far from here. She plays soccer, and has a boyfriend named Spencer. You'll get along well with her. The twins, Elizabeth and Richard, better known as Lizzie and Dickie, are almost 13. They are in seventh grade at a catholic school near here. Dickie likes to skateboard and play video games. He likes girls, but he's shy around them. Lizzie likes to dance, and takes a lot of classes after school doing ballet, tap, jazz, and a bunch of other things I can never remember. She doesn't have a boyfriend, but she always has a new crush. They spend Tuesdays, Thursdays, and every other weekend with me. Their mother, Kathy, has them the rest of the time," Elliot finished.

Sophia raised her eyebrows. "Wow," she said laughing.

"So tell me about yourself," Elliot said.

Sophia scrunched up her nose and thought for a second. "Well I'm almost 16 and a half. I can get my license in September, and I can't wait. I like to sing, read, write, talk to my friends, and watch TV if I have time. I'm a sophomore in high school, and I hate math, chemistry, and my world history class. I like French and English, but not my English teacher. Um…I'm active at church…I like to shop, eat, sleep, jog, do yoga, and go to the beach," she said.

Elliot laughed. "Wow yourself. That's a lot of stuff. How do you find time for everything?"

Sophia shrugged. "Late nights," she explained.

Olivia laughed. "And a chauffeur," she joked.

Sophia smiled at her. "A good one," she said as she kissed her mother. "Love you," she said happily.

"Love you too sweetheart," Olivia said affectionately.

Elliot smiled. "I think I like being a part of this family," he said.

Olivia pretended to smack him. "Well you better!"

Ella laughed. "Mommy don't hit Elly!"

Olivia smiled and stroked Ella's long, curly, blonde hair. "Ella sweetie, do you remember that I told you and Sophia that Elliot and I are going to get married?"

Ella nodded and cocked her head as she watched her mother.

"That means Elliot is going to be your Daddy," Olivia explained.

Ella thought for a second and nodded. She turned to Elliot. "Can I call you Daddy then?"

Elliot smiled and gave the three girls a big hug. "I would love for you two to call me Daddy," he said happily.

Sophia smiled. "Cool…Dad."


	18. In The End

August 18 2 Weeks Later 

**7:00 pm**

Elliot and Olivia sat in the living room of their new apartment anxiously. Tonight their son, Benson, would come home.

They had bought the large apartment on 5th avenue a week and a half ago, realizing that Elliot's apartment did not have enough space for everyone. This apartment had six bedrooms, one for Olivia and Elliot, one for Benson, one for Sophia, one for Ella, one for Dickie, and one for Kathleen and Lizzie. It had a large kitchen, a dining room, a living room, a playroom for the kids, and enough bathrooms for everyone.

They had just finished decorating Benson's new bedroom the day before, and would be leaving very soon to go pick Benson up. The room was painted a pale yellow, and had a Winnie-the-Pooh theme to it.

Olivia looked at the clock. "It's seven," she said to Elliot.

He took her hands and helped her off of the couch. "You ready to go?" He asked.

Olivia nodded. "I've been ready," she said as she smiled.

Elliot wrapped his arms around her. "I know, we all have. But at least he's healthy now," Elliot said as they walked out of the door.

The drive to the hospital was nerve-racking for the both of them, and they were silent most of the way.

Elliot helped Olivia out of the car, and they walked inside the hospital hand in hand. They walked up to the neo-natal ward, and went into see Benson. The nurse brought him out to see them, and Olivia kissed his tiny forward. "Hi baby," she cooed. "You ready to go home?"

Benson gurgled happily and waved his fist in the air. Olivia and Elliot laughed.

"Let's get you dressed first, and then we can leave," Olivia said. She carefully dressed him in a navy blue and white stripped sleeper, and lay him gently in the baby carrier.

Elliot took Olivia's arm as he carried their son out of the hospital. The nurses and doctors clapped as they left, and gave them flowers and balloons. Olivia blushed as she thanked all of them. Elliot placed Benson in the back seat of the car, and Olivia sat back there as well.

She put her finger in Benson's tiny hand, and stroked his head gently as he drifted off to sleep.

She smiled to herself as they drove home. "He's sleeping," Olivia said quietly, as she noticed Elliot's numerous glances at them in the backseat.

Elliot smiled. "You look so happy," he said proudly.

Olivia nodded. "I am very happy, and so are you. We all are!" She exclaimed happily. She stroked Benson's tiny fist and wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "I'm just glad that we're all going to be together now."

Elliot gave her a gentle smile as he pulled into their parking space and helped her out of the car. "I know…as am I," he said as he kissed her forehead and took her hand as he carried Benson and they all took the elevator up to their apartment.

Olivia unlocked the door and laughed at all of the anxious children waiting for them inside. She put a finger up to her mouth and motioned toward the baby carrier. "He's sleeping," she whispered.

Elliot came in behind her, and placed the carrier on the floor. "Welcome home baby Benson," the children said in unison, but very quietly.

Elliot smiled as he wrapped his arms around Olivia and she leaned against his chest holding their new son. Benson opened his sleepy eyes and blinked at his new surroundings. The children crowded around; it was the Stabler childrens' first time seeing Benson in person. "Benson, I'd like you to meet your family; Maureen, Kathleen, Sophia, Dickie, Lizzie, and Ella," Elliot said, smiling proudly at his family. "Everyone, this is your new brother, Benson Tyler Stabler."

"Baby Benson!" Ella shouted, jumping up and down.

Everyone smiled at her. "Ella, remember what Mommy told you? No shouting around baby Benson, okay?" Maureen reminded her new sister as she picked her up.

Ella nodded. "Sorry," she whispered loudly.

Elliot smiled. "It's okay honey. We're going to put this little one to sleep now," he told everyone as he and Olivia headed into baby Benson's room.

They shut the door quietly behind them, and lay Benson in the crib. Olivia covered him with a very light blanket, and they both kissed him gently. "Night baby," Olivia crooned softly as she turned on the baby monitor and left the room with Elliot.

When they returned to the living room, the children had retreated to their rooms to finish their homework before bedtime.

Elliot and Olivia's hands were clasped together, and Elliot led her to their bedroom on the other side of the apartment. Olivia smiled as she lay her head on Elliot's shoulder. She sat down on the bed, and turned on the baby monitor. She sat there for a second, and listened to Benson's quiet breathing. A tear ran down her cheek, and Elliot's lips captured it. He sat next to her, and look deep into her eyes. "No tears," he ordered gently.

Olivia nodded. "I'm just glad he's alright."

Elliot smiled. "I know, me too," he said as he lay a hand on her cheek, a gesture of infinite tenderness.

Olivia lay down gently on the bed, and drew Elliot down beside her. "I went to the doctor today," she said quietly, watching Elliot.

"What did the doctor say? Is everything okay?" He asked, a hand on her shoulder.

Olivia smiled and nodded. "He said I was perfect. I've already lost all of the baby weight, and he gave me the all clear to start going back to my normal activities," she told him.

Elliot was silent as he moved his body closer to Olivia. "Does that mean I can kiss you?" He teased.

Olivia smiled as his body covered hers. "That means you can do whatever you please," she said seductively as she kissed him with pent up passion.

2 Hours Later 

**11:00 pm**

Olivia rolled over in bed and lay her hand on Elliot's cheek, stroking it softly. "Thank you," she whispered as she kissed him softly.

"For what?" Elliot asked as he wrapped his arms around Olivia's waist, and pulled her close to him.

"I've waited to long to be with you again. Thank you for making it special, for making it just a amazing as I remembered it," she explained

Elliot smiled in understanding. "You'll never have to wait for anything ever again," he told her lovingly.

Olivia nodded. "I know…but you know what?"

"What?" Elliot replied, as he propped his head up as he stroked Olivia's silky hair.

"In the end, I don't think I would change a single thing that happened. I know it wasn't easy, but look at what we've gained; 3 more children, we understand each other. I think our relationship is deeper, and I think we've become better, more loving people. In the end, it all turned out pretty good, didn't it?" Olivia asked.

Elliot smiled happily. "It turned out perfectly," he told Olivia. "In the end, it all turned out perfectly," he said as they closed their eyes, cuddled close to each other with legs and hands entwined, and fell asleep.

In the end, love prevailed.

Thank all of you who read and reviewed this story. You've all been a great help, and it's been a great ride. I'm really pleased with the way this story ended. Please keep reading for "Turn up the Faders," my un-finished SVU story, and look for more SVU stories coming soon. I'd love for some ideas for new stories. Also, I'm not finished with my Strong Medicine/SVU crossover story "Mixed Emotions," under the Strong Medicine TV Show category. Special thanks to April, Christina, Sarah, Bre, and Brittany. Thanks again to everyone!


End file.
